It’s Cute How You Think Dressing Modestly Will Keep Me From Harassing You

By Luqdat Tahat

Cairo, October 11 – Whenever women complain that men make uninvited suggestive, derisive, or immodest remarks to them, the discussion inevitably wanders in to the subject of how women dress and what manner or quantity of clothing might forestall such rhetoric. I know I can only speak for myself here, but let me be clear: no matter how much you cover your body and hide your feminine shape, I view you as little more than a foil for my sexual desires, so, yeah, good luck with that. You’re sexy when you’re deluded.

What I’m saying is, and I guess this is an important message for your emotional health and self-image, it’s not your fault I whistle, catcall, make rude gestures, speculate as to your bedroom behavior or number of partners. It’s just what I do, and nothing in your sartorial choices will change that. It’s really attractive, though, when you entertain the mistaken notion that what you wear or how you walk will affect the outcome. Yowza.

Don’t think for a moment that just because I inhabit a Middle East culture that has always prized feminine modesty that my lewd, insulting remarks – and actions, if given a reasonable opportunity – are triggered specifically by departure from those modesty standards. Meaning, please do think that, because there’s nothing hotter to me than a woman who believes she can prevent my harassing her by covering herself up in public. I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

The hijab, oh my goodness. You know what fantasies that conjures up in my mind? You’ll know soon enough, because I have no problem sharing those fantasies at top volume whenever I see anyone wearing one. And don’t get me started in the burqa. Hubba hubba to Friday and back, by Allah.

Concealing the shape of your hips, waist, and bottom from my prying eyes will only make my imagination take over, and whoa, baby, that imagination goes places you’d rather not think about, but I don’t care – I’ll convince myself it’s all you think about, and you’re dressing that way just to turn me on. Asking for it, if you will. And you will, baby. Uh- huh.

So you keep pretending you can cover up and prevent me from undressing you with my eyes and any other feature I bring to bear. Lord almighty, the mere thought of that turns me on…

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