Abbas Asks Arab States For More Funding Toward Villas

“Without multiple impressive homes, what is the point of a leadership position?”

Ramallah, August 26 – As unemployment soars and Gaza reconstruction has yet to get in gear, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas made another impassioned plea to Arab nations today to make good on their promises of cash so he and his loyalists may continue to build grand mansions.

The cash-strapped Palestinian Authority faces trouble in meeting all of its commitments, which include pensions for terrorists and their families, kickbacks, and a lavish lifestyle for high-ranking Fatah officials. The Authority cannot hope to address the squalor and dependence of everyday Palestinians until those important projects are properly funded, and the shortfall is in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

The ambitious real estate projects for Fatah leaders face delays and risk not being completed soon if additional funding does not come through, warned Abbas aide Marwan Twanett. “If our brethren in the other Arab states do not make good on their pledges of last year, there is the real risk of the Palestinian people becoming disillusioned with its leadership, which will necessitate harsh repression of dissent,” he said. “This is all the more urgent in light of the American district court decision to penalize the PLO and Palestinian Authority financially for involvement in attacks more than a decade ago, as if those deaths even matter right now, when Abbas himself cannot finish his new palace.”

But even if the pledges made toward the reconstruction of the Gaza Strip are completely fulfilled – to date only a fraction of the would-be donors have made good on them – Palestinian coffers would remain hundreds of millions, if not billions, in the red. “Blaming the Zionists for this predicament is all well and good, and every thinking, feeling human must agree,” continued Twanett. “But that does not excuse the de facto reneging on the promises of aid. We cannot cut the pensions to the families of our martyrs and imprisoned fighters – their honor far outweighs the needs of an unemployed father of six. And without multiple impressive homes, what is the point of a leadership position? Clearly, the only variable that can be changed at this juncture is the resolve of our Arab brethren to pay up.”

Leaders of those Arab and Muslim states have demurred, partially out of fear that the funds would only contribute to further fighting and destruction. “I would be the last person to deprive my brother in resistance Abu Mazen from achieving his architectural and residential ambitions,” said Turkish spokesman Gudman Yafterbad. “But there is just too much instability for us to be sure that any funds we provide will in fact be used for their express purpose.”

“What if, Allah forbid, somebody uses the money to provide jobs, infrastructure, rule of law, or – I can’t believe I’m saying this – accountability?” He stressed. “That would undermine everything we are working for.”