After Dealing With Your Kid, Teacher Wishes Year HAD Begun With Strike

In what has become an almost-annual ritual, the end of summer vacation this year saw threats by Israel’s Teachers’ Union to strike unless the Ministry of Finance agreed to increase teacher salaries.

Beer Sheva, September 8 – Seven school days into the 2022-2023 term, the primary faculty member educating your child voiced regret that the work stoppage her union had threatened never materialized, forcing her to in fact enter the classroom and deal with your offspring’s negative attitude and disruptive behavior.

Tzvia Aharoni of Ben-Gurion Elementary School announced her disappointment today with the teacher strike that the union called off a day before the scheduled launch of the school year last week, noting that while at the time, she looked forward to a new year with fifth-graders, the past week dealing with your kid has changed her mind.

“I wish we’d gone on strike,” confessed Aharoni to fellow teachers in the school’s teacher room. She gestured to your child’s name on the list in front of her. “That kid is going to be the death of me.”

In what has become an almost-annual ritual, the end of summer vacation this year saw threats by Israel’s Teachers’ Union to strike unless the Ministry of Finance agreed to increase teacher salaries and enshrine certain days off. Prime Minister Yair Lapid’s lame duck government reached a agreement with the union last Wednesday, with the first day of school in most of the country Thursday. Relieved parents and teachers began the actual school year in unremarkable fashion – but in the days since, your child has proved such a disheartening presence in the classroom that his teacher would now sacrifice the stability and income of teaching just to be rid of him.

“It’s not so much that he’s loud – he’s not, but somehow everyone hears his sarcastic insults,” she explained. “At first I ignored the provocations because I want to maintain decorum, but his attitude infected the rest of the class and now everyone mocks my breathing when I turn around to write on the whiteboard. Sometimes I can’t quite be sure it’s him, but I know it’s all his influence. It’s never anything over the top that would justify a trip to the principal’s office – just a steady drip-drip-drip of tiny annoyances that make me question my sanity. Someone moves my phone juuust a little across the desk. Sneezes at crucial moments that force me to repeat important information. Sticky stuff on the projector switch. I’m done.”

Conversations with other members of your household bore out evidence that the child’s classroom shenanigans reflect a home environment where extortion is rewarded, reflecting the larger societal dynamic of the Teachers’ Union and government.

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