After Erekat On Diplomacy, Harvard Taps Madoff To Teach Accounting

Mr. Madoff is slated to deliver his lectures via Zoom from federal prison.

Cambridge, Massachusetts, September 1 – One of the nation’s leading educational institutions followed up its hiring last week of a prominent Palestinian diplomat, with nothing to show for his lifetime of high-profile work, to teach diplomacy, with an announcement that it has engaged renowned business personality Bernard Madoff to impart lessons on advanced accounting and bookkeeping practices.

Harvard University informed journalists today that it has hired Mr. Madoff to share with graduate students the lifelong business acumen and wisdom he accumulated and honed over decades of investment fund management. The announcement came only a few days after the university touted its latest hire in the field of international diplomacy and politics, former Palestinian peace negotiator Saeb Erekat. Over the course of their careers, both figures have amassed tremendous personal sums at the expense of the less-fortunate, even as they issue silver-tongued assurances of imminent better times with them at the helm. Mr. Madoff is slated to deliver his lectures via Zoom from federal prison.

“We are pleased to have engaged Mr. Bernard Madoff as a teaching fellow for the 2020-2021 academic year,” a statement by the university read. “Our MBA students will benefit from the formidable knowledge Mr. Madoff has accrued during his distinguished career in finance, and that experience will help shape the next generation of investment achievers.”

“Harvard is proud to add Mr. Madoff to its expanding roster of all-star fellows,” the statement continued. “In addition to his proven track record, the retired investment guru will add his talent stack to our already-powerful fellowship team that includes such achievers as veteran diplomat Saeb Erekat, who has played an integral part in steering Palestinian statehood aspirations firmly toward failure over nearly three decades.”

A spokesman for the university noted that with so many classes already relegated to online-only interfaces amid COVID restrictions, bringing in Mr. Madoff will require no more logistical inconvenience than any other faculty. “An online classroom provides much more geographic flexibility than a brick-and-mortar one,” observed Harvard Business School Assistant Dean Ed Wood. “The pandemic has posed serious challenges, but has also forced us to find creative solutions and identify educational opportunities that we otherwise might not notice. Thanks to technology, Mr. Madoff can conduct his lectures and seminars remotely from the Federal Corrections Complex in Butner, North Carolina, and Mr. Erekat does not have to leave his opulent villa in Ramallah, both facilities paid for in large part by American tax dollars.”

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