American Expats Looking Forward To Pale Imitation Of Thanksgiving

Tel Aviv, November 23 – Residents of Israel who spent their formative years in the US are eagerly anticipating Thanksgiving celebrations this Thursday that will invariably fail to live up to their hype, sources close to the expatriate community reported today.

The Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel, a group providing resources and cultural activities aimed at the local English-speaking community, said Sunday that its members expected to participate in hundreds, if not thousands, of feasts or other events to mark Thanksgiving, each of which is on track to provide little more than disappointment to those in attendance. A spokeswoman for the organization cited no mass media assisting in the cultivation of a conducive atmosphere, ovens too small to roast entire turkeys, and a relative scarcity of ingredients necessary to make many traditional Thanksgiving foods.

“We usually get dozens of guests at our organization’s annual Thanksgiving dinner,” said AACI spokeswoman Di Aspora. “Of course we charge a fee for participation, which automatically taints the ambiance with something other than the context of family or close friends that a typical Thanksgiving feast in America would provide.” Most other celebrations in Israel would indeed take place with family or friends, she noted, but the day would lack the crucial elements of specific programs on TV, specific songs on the radio, and anyone else outside one’s immediate social circle who gives a damn.

Despite a cultural obsession in Israel with all things American, the society only seldom adopts US practices wholesale. Imports from the US, whether consumer goods or cultural phenomena, tend to remain most popular among those born and raised in the US, and only occasionally prove popular enough among the general population to be sustained. Thanksgiving has never resonated beyond the American expatriate community, making an impact only on butchers who know to keep some extra turkeys on hand.

“As far as I know, turkey is only used in factories,” said Sasson Shabtai, who sells meat at Jerusalem’s Mahane Yehuda market. “I have no idea what those Americans are doing with the birds – who can eat that much food at one sitting?” When a reporter informed him of the elements of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, he wrinkled his nose. “Pumpkins are for seeds,” he sniffed.

Indeed, the pumpkins so stereotypically used in the preparation of pumpkin pie are unavailable in Israel. Instead, locals use an oblong gourd so large that it is only sold retail in chunks. “It’s close enough, I guess,” says Haifa expat Sarah Fried, originally from Cleveland. “Mostly I just splurge on the canned pie filling that stores catering to Americans import just for this time of year.” She noted that she has to travel to Jerusalem to find such stores, but only there does she have the opportunity to spend three times the going US retail price on so many products at the same time, whether Thanksgiving necessities such as cranberry sauce, or general American fare such as Graham crackers.

Aspora says AACI has seen a modest but steady increase in the number of participants in the annual turkey dinner, attesting to the occasion’s staying power among expatriates, but she sees a downside. “Without watching the Detroit Lions getting blown out, insipid commentary on Macy’s parade floats, stupid reruns of old TV shows, and perpetual family dysfunction on full display, it’s just not the same.”