Ancient Scroll Chronicling Thwarted Genocide Of Jews Adduced As Evidence Of ‘Jewish Supremacy’

“They didn’t have to kill thousands of people who were going to kill them. They could have shot them in the leg.”

Brighton, March 7 – Anti-Israel activists cited the sacred Hebrew text at the heart of today’s observance of the Purim holiday, which commemorates a planned massacre of an ethnic minority in the Achaemenid Empire of the sixth century BCE that in the end resulted in that minority massacring its oppressors instead, as proof that the same minority views itself as elevated above all other peoples, who presumably would have done the normal thing and allowed themselves to be exterminated.

Pro-Palestinian demonstrators picketed outside a local synagogue this morning as worshipers inside listened to a reading from the Scroll of Esther – the Megillah – a narrative set during the decades-long exile of Jews from their homeland following the destruction of the First Temple in 586 BCE. The protesters argued that the book’s main plot point – a palace-backed initiative to perpetrate genocide of all the Jews in the empire and despoil their property, but which, through the machinations of secretly-Jewish Queen Esther and her cousin/adoptive father Mordechai, backfired – indicates that Jews view themselves as superior to others, similar to the way that Israel defends itself from Arab terrorism because it upholds Jewish supremacy.

“This is a racist holiday!” yelled one demonstrator, characterizing Jews as a race, when just last week she insisted Judaism was merely a religion and Jewish peoplehood, the basis of modern political Zionism, does not exist. “You think you’re so special that you can massacre Persians who never got a chance to kill you! From the River to the Sea, Persia and Palestine will be Free! Free from Jewish supremacism!”

“They didn’t have to kill thousands of people who were going to kill them,” charged another. “They could have shot them in the leg. I mean, then we would be complaining about Jewish supremacist cruelty, inflicting such wounds on innocent aspiring genociders, but that’s a hypothetical. The point is, Jewish self-defense is and has always been about Jews considering themselves superior to others. It’s not like when other people defend themselves, and certainly not like those ancients and today’s Palestinians, who have every right to defend themselves from Jewish existence.”

The activists cited similar claims regarding the arrogance and elitism that characterized other episodes of Jewish survival, such as the Exodus, Hezekiah’s victory over the Assyrians, the entire Hanukkah story, persistent Jewish refusal to assimilate into Christianity or Islam, the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising and other Jewish acts of defiance under Nazi persecution, and whenever a jew refuses to be killed by noble Palestinian freedom fighters.

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