Angels Don’t Know If They Can Trust Abraham’s Kashrut

“We can probably rely on him just this once without inquiring whether everything is Badatz.”

Oaks of Mamre – The trio of divine messengers tasked with engaging Abraham’s hospitality and informing him he will father a son with his wife Sarah voiced reluctance to partake of the food they expect him to serve, sources close to the group disclosed today.

Three angels were dispatched to the tent of the Hebrew, who is recovering from the circumcision ceremony performed earlier this week. They anticipate that the man, 99, will make intense efforts to make them feel welcome, as their mission calls for assuming the guise of human wayfarers. If that is the case, said Raphael, one of the angels, they will be called upon to “ingest” whatever foodstuffs Abraham serves them, including meat that may or may not have been slaughtered under the supervision of the right Rabbinic authority.

“I’m a little anxious about this, and so are my colleagues,” confessed the angel, whose specific role in this portion of their current mission involves healing Sarah and allowing her to conceive. “We don’t know who’s back there with the flock or in the kitchen. I’m wondering how rude it might be to ask for the fish instead.” His fellow angel Gabriel informed him that Abraham was unlikely to have fish available this far inland.

“We’re not on the coastal plain right now,” he reminded Raphael. “I know you’re not used to this food thing, since you’re usually non-corporeal, but if you’re going to be assuming the appearance and habits of a human for this mission, you’d better exhibit some basic human knowledge.” Raphael sniffed at the admonition.

“What do you suggest, then?” he asked.

“I think we can fake eating it,” offered Michael, the third angel. “Or maybe we can fill up on bread and other stuff before the meat is served. Pas Yisroel isn’t an issue here, so we can do that. I do hope there’s enough to make that excuse plausible.”

“OK, I guess, but I think we’re still going to have trouble,” worried Raphael. “I doubt all three of us can beg off eating even a single bite of meat, and even if we could, it’s rude. Abraham will work really hard to prepare it, and he’s old, it’s a blazing hot day, and he’s still recovering from surgery. It will not look good at all if we do anything but eat what he provides.”

The three angels marched toward Abraham’s tent in silence, still unsure how to navigate the thorny, conflicting halachic and social principles. “Uh-oh – he’s seen us,” warned Michael. “Here he comes. What have we decided?” his voice fell to a whisper.

“Just wing it,” advised Gabriel. “He’s an upstanding fellow. God appears to him. We can probably rely on him just this once without inquiring whether everything is Badatz.”

At press time, the angels were giving one another looks after being served butter and milk at the same meal they expect to be eating meat.