Anti-Zionists Say Matza Not Jewish, Just Stolen From Egypt

“It’s the same story as falafel, shawarma, shakshuka, and all the other foods that Jews ate wherever they lived but aren’t allowed to adopt.”

New York, August 20 – Opponents of the Jewish State denounced today the Judaic practice of eating unleavened bread to mark the springtime festival of Passover, calling the observance a blatant act of cultural theft, because that foodstuff – as ancient Judaic texts freely acknowledge – already existed under the pharaohs, whose work forced the Israelite slaves to consume bread without waiting for it to rise.

Rafael Shimunov, an area activist with the If Not Now organization that invokes vaguely-defined Jewish values to use as a political cudgel against Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland, called matza a “flagrant manifestation of one of the subtle but pernicious aspects of Zionism.” He accused Israeli Jews, and Israel-supporters in general, of claiming as their own yet another food created by others.

“It’s a disgusting, but not surprising, part of a holiday that’s supposed to be about universal values like liberation from oppression,” he argued. “Of course, to them, Palestinians aren’t entitled to that liberation, no matter how hard they fight for it. And then they suffer the indignity of having the basic elements of their culture stolen from them and portrayed as Jewish or Israeli.”

“That’s exactly what happened with matza. Those Zionists – and let’s not kid ourselves, they openly claimed to want to take Canaan from its indigenous inhabitants by genocide and ethnic cleansing – now pretend matza is a celebration of getting redeemed in such a hurry there was no time to let the dough rise. We see you, Zionists. It’s the same story as falafel, shawarma, shakshuka, and all the other foods that Jews ate wherever they lived but aren’t allowed to adopt as their own because Jews aren’t allowed to be like other people. It’s not a Jewish value to have sovereignty, deterrence, security, or the respect of those who would otherwise massacre you.”

The “Jewish Voice for Peace” account on X – run by a Turkish Muslim – likewise characterized matza as the fruits of cultural genocide. “Where are those Egyptians now?” he wondered. “The name Israel and the complete erasure of a proud, ancient culture have gone hand in hand for more than three thousand years, it seems.”

“But don’t go thinking that gives them any precedence over Islam’s claims to the land,” he cautioned. “Just because they got there first doesn’t mean they deserved to be there. They killed the prophets and rebelled against God. I know that sounds like the justifications for the conquest of Canaan, but trust me, it was correct for the Umayyads but not for the Zionists. Just trust me.”

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