Arab MKs Call Jewish Invocation Of Wind, Rain In Prayers ‘Appropriation’

The statement cited an impending UNESCO resolution declaring the meteorological phenomena of Israel to be part of Palestinian cultural heritage.

Jerusalem, October 16 – As of last Thursday, Jewish liturgy calls for the thrice-daily prayers to begin mentioning God as the source of wind and rain, a practice that politicians from Israel’s Arab community are characterizing as colonialist appropriation of native resources.

MKs Haneen Zoabi, Ahmad Tibi, Jamal Zaalke, and Aida Touma-Sliman joined the mayors of several Arab municipalities to decry the Jewish practice, in a statement that accused the Likud-led government of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu of fomenting, encouraging, and failing to stem the continued appropriation of Arab culture by the Jewish majority.

“You are foreigners,” declared the group, addressing a people that originated in the land long before the advent of Islam and the Arab conquest. “You mock our culture by saying that your god controls the wind and rain, when everyone knows Palestinian wind and rain is Palestinian wind and rain. No matter how many times a day you recite it, it will never be yours.”

The statement reserved special criticism for Netanyahu. “The whole world is familiar with your racist policies and rhetoric,” it continued. “No one should be surprised that the leader of this country condones, even encourages, Jews to treat Palestinian wind and rain as their own. But the world knows better.” The statement then cited an impending UNESCO resolution declaring the meteorological phenomena of Israel to be part of the Palestinian cultural heritage, and calling for them to be protected from “plunder” by Israel.

Government officials appeared unmoved by the statement. “I don’t know what they’re talking about, actually,” admitted a spokesman for Netanyahu. “When’s the last time the prime minister opened a Jewish prayer book?.”

“It’s a little hypocritical to be speaking up now when all summer long we’ve been praising God for dew,” remarked Minister of Education Naftali Bennett. “One gets the sense that these troublemakers care less about the actual resources they claim to cherish than they do about seizing every opportunity to make outrageous claims. From where I stand, Allah seems pretty pleased that the Jews have returned to this land, what with the unparalleled agricultural and economic prosperity that has been the hallmark of the Zionist era.” He added that he had never seen any of the MKs behind the statement take any particular joy at Palestinian wind and rain, avoiding it wherever possible.

Voters in the Arab sector offered numerous responses, but their words were muffled as a result of the constant facepalms they were performing.

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