As A Self-Righteous Narcissist, I Expected Musk To Take My Threat To Leave Twitter More Seriously

By Blue-Check Journalist

Washington, November 10 – It’s been a couple of weeks since ownership of the bird app officially passed to the hands of the founder of Tesla and SpaceX. The more excitable among us swear they could see major changes as soon as he took the steering wheel; more sober voices understood that actual seismic change would wait until he had time to study the policies, technologies, and algorithms, and then develop new ones to suit his sensibilities, if necessary. Regardless, all correct-thinking influencers, such as your truly, with my impressive follower count and several talk-show appearances, unlike all you plebians, realized that we had to start preemptive action right away to warn the new powers that be of the consequences of degrading my cohort’s established hold on public discourse by altering anything substantive: we warned him that we would stop using the app. I must say I find disappointing the result, in which the new owner appears dismissive of the profound impact my departure will surely have.

Perhaps Mr. Musk does not understand the dire implications of my abandoning Twitter. Let me emphasize this, then: I will take my considerable influence elsewhere. I, who command the attention of tens of thousands of people for up to several seconds a day, and sometimes even a full minute, will no longer grant my enviable presence to his app.

For some reason, that seems to fall on deaf, perhaps unsophisticated, ears. I am at a loss to explain or absorb such a philistine attitude. He has no idea what’s in store, or its ramifications. I’d wager he knows not even the meaning of “ramifications.” Otherwise, how to explain his blasé non-response to this imminent disaster?

Perhaps his wealth has desensitized him to the hardscrabble lives of us journalists and our never-ending battles against the encroachment of fascism into public life. I was remarking on that just today over cocktails and filet mignon with several colleagues. Who stands at the front lines of the war to keep the Trumpian MAGA demons at bay? Whose calls from the Lincoln Project, the Bulwark, and Samantha Bee have characterized many an afternoon? I daresay not Elon Musk’s! Yet that man has the temerity to ignore the hazard that my departure will herald for his $44 billion investment. Unwise does not begin to describe it. He must think he can handle my absence.

Such self-absorption and self-delusion I have seldom seen.

Please support our work through Patreon.