Attackers Of Israel Still Trying To Get BBC’s Attention

Jenin, June 3 – Palestinian gunmen and would-be suicide bombers expressed their frustration today at the British Broadcasting Corporation, which appears to be ignoring every single one of their recent attempts to attack Israelis with lethal force.

The BBC has not reported any of the rockets launched into Israel from the Gaza Strip in the last month, and gave no coverage of either of the attacks on IDF soldiers at checkpoints this week. Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and other terrorist organizations that the BBC insists on calling “militants” aired their disappointment in a joint statement, calling on the company to give their efforts due attention.

“We cannot sow terror and fear amid the infidel West if their leading news organization does not depict our activities as sowing such fear and terror,” said the statement. “Yes, we are militant, but so is everyone else. Our claim to fame is our methodology of terrorism, and it is simply demeaning to omit that element of our essence.”

“While we acknowledge the sympathy the BBC evidently feels for the Palestinian people, it is mistaken in thinking that we appreciate being portrayed as helplessly oppressed,” the statement continued. “On the contrary, we wish them to proclaim loud and clear that we take any means necessary to remove the Western presence from our midst, from the river to the sea.” The statement lamented the extra effort that is necessary to increase the fear and revulsion that would be engendered in the West if the BBC were to report the attacks as important in their own right, and not simply wait for incidents that could be easily twisted to represent naked Israeli aggression.

Even when they do occasionally report Palestinian-instigated violence, say Hamas and Islamic Jihad, the BBC fails to convey the information that would evoke the right feelings. As an example they gave the fatal shooting attack on Passover of an off-duty Israeli policeman on his way to a Seder. The BBC identified him primarily by his role as a policeman, whereas in reality that was incidental to his being targeted; he was in a civilian car, in civilian clothes, with his family, and the shooters were unaware of his day job. Such a portrayal, they said, detracts from the desired emotional response in the viewer, making him think the incident nothing more than a scuffle between paramilitary units, when in fact it is intended to make BBC viewers personally wary of ever crossing an Islamist.

Similarly, they pointed to IDF soldiers shooting at Palestinian youths, neglecting to mention that the troops are responding to the youths throwing stones and Molotov cocktails, often at passing Israeli motorists. Such an incomplete depiction makes the BBC audience dismiss the encounters as unfortunate, but distant, when in fact they are calculated to strike existential fear in the heart of the infidel.

A BBC spokesman was puzzled by the allegations. “You mean Jews are being targeted? Where did you hear such a thing?”