“We poor Muslims have never fared well against an enemy with such superior numbers.” Beirut, January 28 – Leaders of various military and paramilitary groups across the Levant and beyond restated their longstanding contention this week that their culture, which dominated ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMichaeli Vows To Restore Labor To Customary Irrelevance
“There are voters coming of age who have never known a Labor-led government. Tel Aviv, January 27 – The newly-installed chairwoman of one of Israel’s oldest, but fading, political parties made a public commitment Wednesday to bring Labor back to ...
Read More »Furor As Food Critic Fails To Invoke Politics In Recent Review
A cardinal sin of cultural commentary. Tel Aviv, January 26 – A writer for Israel’s flagship left-leaning news outlet sparked an uproar today when her article comparing the home-delivery offerings of various restaurants in this city of 436,000 included not ...
Read More »Jericho Casino Closed, Palestinian Leaders Forced To Gamble With Citizens’ Lives
Palestinians as their leaders’ sacrificial victims to various money-making schemes, anti-Israel propaganda drives, and political maneuvering. Jericho, Palestinian Territories, January 25 – The continuing shuttered state of a gambling house in this ancient city for more than two decades has ...
Read More »I Think The Other Hamas Fighters Trapped In This Collapsed Tunnel Are Closer Than 2 Meters
by Hussein Halabi, Hamas commando Somewhere underground near the fence between the Gaza Strip and southern Israel, January 21 – Oh God. I think both of my legs are broken. And several ribs. And I can’t feel my left arm. ...
Read More »Biden Administration Still Scandal-Free
“It feels good to have left the whole era of Fake News behind.” Washington, January 21 – Media personalities and commentators marveled today at the lack of corruption and controversy of the current presidential administration, already more than a thousand ...
Read More »Enemy Of Israelites Whose Words Are Recorded For Eternity In Bible Claims He’s Being Silenced
Bil’am laid the groundwork for his “silencing” claim with a warning that he will only speak that which YHWH endorses. Shittim, Transjordan, January 20 – A prophet and sorcerer whose repeated attempts to curse the Lord’s chosen people came to ...
Read More »Hamas Commander Not Sure About Wife’s ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ Kitchen Décor
“You’re not some Karen in the American suburbs who wants to speak to the manager; you’re the wife of a warrior for Islam.” Gaza City, January 19 – The leader of an Islamist militant unit focused on confronting the Zionist ...
Read More »Stupid Likud Thinks It Can Attract Arab Voters With Idiotic Notions Such As Self-Interest, Coexistence
Yet another way in which Netanyahu and his minions are working to undermine democracy. Nazareth, January 18 – The morons who run Israel’s current ruling party apparently believe they can garner votes from the non-Jewish population of the country by ...
Read More »Jerusalem Bakery So Far Resisting Urge To Weigh In On Trump Removal
“One wonders how a business can even function if it focuses only on production, quality control, marketing, management, and accounting.” Jerusalem, January 14 – Proprietors of a neighborhood establishment specializing in pastries, breads, and various confections has to date not ...
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