He practiced a small detonation but injured his little brother. Hebron, February 25 – Citing what he calls the lockdown’s “devastating effect” on his family, a local resident who aspires to kill Israelis by detonating an explosive belt he wears ...
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Feed SubscriptionAhashverosh Enlists J-Street To Oppose Temple Reconstruction
Ben-Ami’s organization rose to combat the common misperception that the Jews give monolithic support to their own redemption and restoration. Shushan, Achaemenid Empire, February 17 – The emperor issued a proclamation today boasting that his administration has earned the support ...
Read More »Court Dispenses With Pretense, Allows Arab Parties To Run Gangs, Intimidate Voters
“Why should Christians get to be the only ones who get to blame the Jews of all time for the imagined sins of a previous generation?” Jerusalem, February 24 – In a move that High Court justices explained will streamline ...
Read More »Kid With Non-Androgynous Name Baffles Tel Aviv Social Services
“You have to go to like a foreign country or something to encounter something like this. Or leave Tel Aviv, which is functionally the same thing.” Tel Aviv, February 23 – Municipal welfare personnel voiced perplexity today upon encountering a ...
Read More »Planning Error Leads To Palestinian Diggers Only Destroying Part Of Ancient Jewish Site
“It remains a total mystery why Israelis resist the idea of giving us control over access to holy sites.” Mt. Ebal, Samaria Region, February 22 – Officials in the autonomous government of the Palestinian National Authority voiced dismay today upon ...
Read More »Israel Apartheid Barrier Outed As Wall That Maimed Humpty Dumpty
Activists demanded to put the allegorical Mr. Dumpty back together along with idyllic pre-Israel Palestine. Nabi Salih, February 18 – Activists have uncovered evidence that the series of wires, towers, concrete ramparts, and other obstacles that Israel credits with stopping ...
Read More »RickRoll Thwarted By Bible Compilers
“Works with suspect content of this or any other sort will not be included in the canon.” Jerusalem, February 18 – Redactors of a collection of sacred texts almost let through a prank that would have plagued millennia of readers ...
Read More »Apparently Hebrew Has Words Other Than ‘Tikkun Olam’ …?
By Rabbi Andy Kahn New York, February 18 – Today I Learned that the language of most of the Hebrew Bible contains words that are not ‘Tikkun’ and ‘Olam.’ I was Today Years Old when I discovered that. Who knew? ...
Read More »UNICEF Diagnosed With Peculiar Form Of ADHD; ‘Only When Palestinian Child-Soldiers Mentioned’
But can any UN body survive without Israel-bashing and Palestinian-infantilizing as its center of gravity? New York, February 16 – Medical professionals have concluded that a leading international children’s welfare organization suffers from an unique kind of attention-deficit that manifests ...
Read More »Netanyahu Suggests Postponing Elections Till After Elections
This biggest issue: polling places as superspreader venues. Jerusalem, February 15 – Worrisome COVID infection levels have prompted Israel’s prime minister to float the idea of waiting to hold the next round of national voting until following the next round ...
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