The UN has an entire other organization for resettling and caring for refugees as such, and almost none of the Palestine Refugees qualify under the standard definition of ‘refugee.’ Geneva, January 14 – An international organization mandated to see to ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMy Incitement Focuses On Jews, So At Least My Twitter Account Is Safe
by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader, Islamic Republic of Iran Tehran, January 13 – Recent uproar over the harsh response to US President Donald Trump’s lifetime banishment from social media giant Twitter has called attention to the tech company’s alleged ...
Read More »Man Filmed Using American Flag To Beat Cop Gets Honorary Iran Citizenship
“This takes our practice of making the US and Israeli flags into doormats to the next level.” Tehran, January 12 – A member of a violent mob storming the US Capitol building last week who wielded a flagpole with the ...
Read More »God Admits To Running “The Mossad” Twitter Account
The Creator of humanity knows a thing or two about human foibles and how hilariously, tragically funny they can be. Kind of like the ‘mishap’ scheduled to hit one of Iran’s sensitive military facilities next week. Tel Aviv, January 11 ...
Read More »IDF Critics Note That Nazis Also Used Weapons, Helmets
Other shared practices include drafting, training, operating an air force, maintaining naval facilities, and wearing uniforms. Geneva, January 7 – Human rights groups and international organizations drew dark parallels today between Israel’s military and Germany under Adolph Hitler, noting that the ...
Read More »Israeli Parties Score Low Prices On Surplus Voter Fraud Allegations From US
Whoever comes in second will no doubt wield these allegations as liberally as their US counterparts were sprayed. Jerusalem, January 7 – A glut of accusations that officials and institutions within the American electoral system either illegally suppressed or added ballots to ...
Read More »Public Aghast At Notion That Mere Existence Of Vaccine Doesn’t Permit Reckless Abandon
“It’s pointless to stop me from yelling at the top of my lungs in the immediate vicinity of up to dozens of other people at a time.” Tel Aviv, January 6 – Israelis reacted with horror today to a suggestion that the ...
Read More »Palestinians Hoping Biden Will Remind Jews Not To Be So Goddamn Sovereign
“If the Jews of Israel want to live a normal existence, they have to forfeit the security that everyone needs in order to live a normal existence.” Ramallah, January 5 – The upcoming inauguration of the next American president has ...
Read More »It’s Cute How You Think Agreements Giving Palestinians Self-Governance Will Stop Us From Blasting Israel For Palestinian Misgovernment
by Ken Roth, Director, Human Rights Watch New York, January 4 – It never ceases to amaze and amuse me that people think just because Palestinian leaders signed a binding document accepting responsibility for their own internal affairs covering the ...
Read More »Progressives Torn As Bus Under Which To Throw Jews Fails Emissions Test
“We have to determine whether harming Jews is simply a positive side-effect of our efforts, or a goal in itself.” Sacramento, December 31 – Stalwarts of forward-leaning politics voiced consternation today at a new dilemma that may force them to ...
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