The Konfirmation: Israelites Kommit Evil (KIKE) principle. Tel Aviv, February 4 – A survey of media principles covering violence between Jews and non-Jews revealed an underlying mechanism that offers a scientific explanation for the way journalists report on it, researchers disclosed today: ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionI Hope My Portion Of ‘Palestine Refugee’ Funding Gets Embezzled By Someone Cool
by Gigi Hadid New York, February 3 – My modeling career makes it unnecessary, unwise, and distracting to wade into politics, but now and then I cannot help but express my feelings on the plight of my Palestinian brethren. Chief among ...
Read More »‘Groundhog Day’ A Little Too On The Nose As Description Of Biden Iran Policy
Connors could swear we lived through this whole scenario already, and it didn’t turn out well. Punxsutawney, February 2 – Meteorologist Phil Connors acknowledged that the emerging policy of the new presidential administration toward the Islamic Republic of Iran and the ...
Read More »NGOs Demand Ethnicity Test Of West Bank Homebuilders To Weed Out Jews
“Jews are like cancer: you have to prevent the spread, or efforts to treat the existing tumor will prove fruitless.” Alon Shevut, Etzion Bloc, February 1 – Organizations that insist they work to advance human rights and combat bigotry put ...
Read More »God Fails To Get J Street’s Approval Before Promising Land To Jacob
“Making such a dangerous promise is a one-sided measure that establishes facts on the ground prejudicing the outcome of Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.” Beth El, January 28 – A group of left-wing American lobbyists voiced dismay today following a divine commitment to ...
Read More »Society That Kept Jews Down For 1400 Years Obviously The Underdog
“We poor Muslims have never fared well against an enemy with such superior numbers.” Beirut, January 28 – Leaders of various military and paramilitary groups across the Levant and beyond restated their longstanding contention this week that their culture, which dominated ...
Read More »Michaeli Vows To Restore Labor To Customary Irrelevance
“There are voters coming of age who have never known a Labor-led government. Tel Aviv, January 27 – The newly-installed chairwoman of one of Israel’s oldest, but fading, political parties made a public commitment Wednesday to bring Labor back to ...
Read More »Furor As Food Critic Fails To Invoke Politics In Recent Review
A cardinal sin of cultural commentary. Tel Aviv, January 26 – A writer for Israel’s flagship left-leaning news outlet sparked an uproar today when her article comparing the home-delivery offerings of various restaurants in this city of 436,000 included not ...
Read More »Jericho Casino Closed, Palestinian Leaders Forced To Gamble With Citizens’ Lives
Palestinians as their leaders’ sacrificial victims to various money-making schemes, anti-Israel propaganda drives, and political maneuvering. Jericho, Palestinian Territories, January 25 – The continuing shuttered state of a gambling house in this ancient city for more than two decades has ...
Read More »I Think The Other Hamas Fighters Trapped In This Collapsed Tunnel Are Closer Than 2 Meters
by Hussein Halabi, Hamas commando Somewhere underground near the fence between the Gaza Strip and southern Israel, January 21 – Oh God. I think both of my legs are broken. And several ribs. And I can’t feel my left arm. ...
Read More »