The decision also removes the seven dissenting justices from the Court. Jerusalem, November 19 – Israel’s supreme judicial body handed down a landmark decision today, ordaining that in light of the ongoing public health crisis resulting from the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen, ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionJew Who ‘Stormed’ Al Aqsa Now ‘Thunders’ To Bathroom, ‘Tramples’ Way To Kitchen
The hellbound descendant of apes and pigs stampeded home a hybrid compact and proceeded to trample his way to the kitchen, where his insatiable rapacious Zionist maw devoured a helpless bowl of Kellogg’s corn flakes with milk. Jerusalem, November 18 ...
Read More »IDF Blaming Gaza Rocket Launch On Lightning Makes Assad Slap Head, Wonder Why He Didn’t Think Of It To Explain 500K Dead
“Can Gaza be the only place in the world where lightning triggers military equipment? That wouldn’t make sense.” Damascus, Nov 17 – The President of the Syrian Arab Republic smacked himself on the forehead today following receipt of a report ...
Read More »We Continue To Maintain Fraud Occurred In The 1947 Partition Vote
by the late Saeb Erekat, Palestinian negotiator Jericho, November 16 – I died last week. You might think that prevents me from further expression of my political mantras and propaganda, but I’m not going to let a little death stop ...
Read More »If Reinstated, Corbyn Vows To Minimize Carbon Footprint On Way To Lay Wreaths At Terrorist Graves
“I have had, in my zeal for universal human equality, some blind spots.” London, November 12 – Ousted UK Labour Chairman Jeremy Corbyn continued to argue today in favor of revoking his expulsion from the party following an inquest finding ...
Read More »IDF Unsure Whether Riots A Palestinian ‘Day Of Rage’ Or Just Thursday
The intensity of the violence provided no clear indication. Kibbutz Zikkim, Gaza Envelope, November 12 – Israeli soldiers patrolling the fence between this southern region and the Gaza Strip expressed uncertainty today in response to a reporter’s question as to the ...
Read More »Eating Non-Kosher Animals Forbidden So They Can Spy On Goyim
“We need an operation to discourage non-Jews from studying the book of Leviticus and certain passages of Deuteronomy, but we can accomplish that by adding all sorts of boring sacrificial ritual to the former, and make the latter look like ...
Read More »Experts Unsure Which Eulogy More Frequent: Democracy Or Bibi’s Career
“I’m not inclined to count each case of someone sharing that climactic tantrum scene from the the Hitler movie ‘Downfall’ as a discrete instance, but your mileage may vary.” Jerusalem, November 10 – Joe Biden’s election victory this weekend following ...
Read More »Flooded Israeli Coastal Towns Weirdly Not Blaming Open Dams
Not a single victim of the flooding mentioned malevolence on the part of the Israeli military or Netanyahu-led government. Yavne, November 9 – The first major rainfall of the season struck the plains west of Jerusalem last week, resulting in ...
Read More »Despite Industry’s Failures In 2016, 2020, Abbas Trusts Polls Showing He Better Not Call Elections Ever
“The will of the people is dangerous to our careers.” Ramallah, November 5 – The President of the Palestinian Authority believes public opinion surveys showing the deep unpopularity of him personally and of his governing faction among Palestinians, even though ...
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