“This time it’s really our doing.” Berkeley, August 20 – Activists who call on companies, states, organizations, governments, and individuals to refrain from any dealings with the Jewish State as a way of pressuring the latter into concessions to Palestinian ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionEvangelicals Only Want To Use Jews, Warn Activists Who Only Want To Use Jews
Support for Israel as a shared value between the two faith groups is an unacceptable form of “tokenism.” New York, August 19 – Members of an anti-Israel group who cite certain members of the Hebrew persuasion to lend their agenda legitimacy cautioned ...
Read More »NGOs Suddenly Notice UAE Authoritarian After Nation Forms Ties With Israel
“That came as news to me, even though it’s been in all of our reports, my aides tell me.” Geneva, August 18 – Human rights groups reacted to last week’s sudden announcement of diplomatic and commercial ties between Israel and ...
Read More »Judenrat Candidate Insists He Most Qualified To Provide Futile Cushion Against Nazi Brutality
“If the Judenrat will toil in vain,” he chanted, “it might as well be led by someone vain!” Bialystock Ghetto, August 13 – Authorities mandated this week that the Jews of this city elect delegates to a council that will ...
Read More »Israelis Can’t Wait To Spread Obnoxious Tourist Reputation To UAE, Oman, Bahrain
Israeli travelers took to focusing on what they do best while out of the country: making themselves and their countrymen look like spoiled, whiny, provincial ingrates. Ramat HaSharon, August 17 – Word of the developing diplomatic and commercial ties between ...
Read More »Blockade Forces Gaza Car Dealer To Sell BMWs Only To Wealthy
Israel allows in only those goods and materials that have no clear military use, but limits the quantity thereof to however much the people of Gaza want to bring in and pay for. Rafah, August 13 – An entrepreneur in ...
Read More »At Least The Beirut Blast Looked Symmetrical
by Detective Adrian Monk San Francisco, August 12 – Numerous elements of the disastrous ammonium nitrate explosion in the Lebanese capital last week give cause for alarm. Nevertheless, one the more common features of such incidents remained noticeably absent: the ...
Read More »Man Sure You Can’t Tell He’s Antisemitic Because He Only Talks About ‘Zios’
“It’s foolproof.” Minneapolis, August 11 – A Twitter personality who spends more than nine tenths of his time on the platform finding the least charitable angle on anything resembling Jewish sovereignty believes he appears credible in denying animus toward Jews ...
Read More »High Holiday Lockdown Threatens Man’s Plan To Note Everyone Singing Liturgy Wrong
Absence of communal prayers will deprive him of the self-righteousness he gets from observing that everyone sings everything wrong. Teaneck, August 10 – A resident of this northern New Jersey township voiced concern today that his synagogue’s announced intention not ...
Read More »Iran Pleased To Have Lebanese To Sacrifice In Addition To Syrians, Iraqis, Yemenis, Palestinians
“They should be thankful to participate in this grand project.” Tehran, August 6 – Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and several of his top officials voiced gratification today following a catastrophic explosion in Beirut yesterday that killed more than a ...
Read More »