“Suck our exhaust, never-in-the-shade Donald Trump Bus Stop Shelter at Geha Interchange!” Maaleh Gerah, August 6 – Municipalities around Israel that sought to put themselves on the map by capturing the attention of a narcissistic American president with gestures expressing ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIsraelis Hope To Avoid Choice Between Lousy Gov’t And New Elections By Dying Of COVID
Choosing a “third way” to escape the purgatory of political futility. Jerusalem, August 5 – Ongoing tensions, ineffectiveness, and instability of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s ruling coalition have made many citizens aware that they may soon face the fourth parliamentary ...
Read More »UN Silent As Israel Again Shoots Down Helpless Hamas Missiles
“Defenseless missiles get blasted out of the sky by monstrous creations of imperialist powers hell-bent on repressing the legitimate resistance of oppressed peoples to settler-colonialism.” Sderot, August 4 – Human rights and pro-Palestinian activists fumed today at the international community’s ...
Read More »How Dare You Weaponize My Antisemitism By Mentioning It!
By Congresswoman Wata Bout Washington, August 3 – My political allies and I are sick and tired of finding our past statements invoking classic notions of Jewish power and perfidy used against us as a political cudgel, as if our ...
Read More »‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ Sign At Uighur Camp A Bit Too On The Nose
“It’s not like the Party to be this, well, tone deaf, I guess is what you’d call it.” Xinjiang, August 2 – Inmates and administration staff at a facility that imprisons, enslaves, sterilizes, and otherwise abuses a Muslim ethnic minority ...
Read More »Man Believes Day Of 9-Av Fasting Offsets Gluttony Of Other 364
“I’m not twenty years old anymore.” Beit Shemesh, July 30 – A resident of this town southwest of Jerusalem plans to take full dietary advantage of the traditional Jewish practice of not eating for a full twenty-four hours from Wednesday ...
Read More »After Retreat, Hezbollah Invites Corbyn To Proclaim They ‘Won the Argument’
“We and our far-left allies in the UK and Europe share a profound attachment to the unattainable.” Beirut, July 29 – The Shiite militia that exerts de facto control of Lebanese politics on behalf of its Iranian masters asked the disgraced ...
Read More »Turkish Flotilla Aims To Relieve ‘Siege’ Of Arabs Under COVID Lockdown In Israel
“Free the Palestinian people from the yoke of Zionist oppression that has raised Arab incomes, life expectancy, and health care, and freedom indicators far beyond those of their neighbors.” Marmara, Turkey – A group of human rights activists vowed today ...
Read More »Group Speaking Truth To Power Weirdly Reluctant To Acknowledge Own Power
“The people in real power, the ones threatening the future for the rest of us, are the ones the media take pains to show in a negative light: Jews who adhere to tradition, you know, the ones who are largely ...
Read More »Successful Syrian Interceptions Of IAF Listed With UFO, Bigfoot Sightings
“I’m excited about this addition,” gushed Gimlin Patterson, a cryptozoology documentary filmmaker. Damascus, July 23 – Cryptozoologists and other enthusiasts of paranormal phenomena have begun including Assad regime claims of thwarted Israeli airborne operations in their logs of unconfirmed-but-definitely-real incidents, ...
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