Israeli travelers took to focusing on what they do best while out of the country: making themselves and their countrymen look like spoiled, whiny, provincial ingrates. Ramat HaSharon, August 17 – Word of the developing diplomatic and commercial ties between ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionBlockade Forces Gaza Car Dealer To Sell BMWs Only To Wealthy
Israel allows in only those goods and materials that have no clear military use, but limits the quantity thereof to however much the people of Gaza want to bring in and pay for. Rafah, August 13 – An entrepreneur in ...
Read More »At Least The Beirut Blast Looked Symmetrical
by Detective Adrian Monk San Francisco, August 12 – Numerous elements of the disastrous ammonium nitrate explosion in the Lebanese capital last week give cause for alarm. Nevertheless, one the more common features of such incidents remained noticeably absent: the ...
Read More »Man Sure You Can’t Tell He’s Antisemitic Because He Only Talks About ‘Zios’
“It’s foolproof.” Minneapolis, August 11 – A Twitter personality who spends more than nine tenths of his time on the platform finding the least charitable angle on anything resembling Jewish sovereignty believes he appears credible in denying animus toward Jews ...
Read More »High Holiday Lockdown Threatens Man’s Plan To Note Everyone Singing Liturgy Wrong
Absence of communal prayers will deprive him of the self-righteousness he gets from observing that everyone sings everything wrong. Teaneck, August 10 – A resident of this northern New Jersey township voiced concern today that his synagogue’s announced intention not ...
Read More »Iran Pleased To Have Lebanese To Sacrifice In Addition To Syrians, Iraqis, Yemenis, Palestinians
“They should be thankful to participate in this grand project.” Tehran, August 6 – Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and several of his top officials voiced gratification today following a catastrophic explosion in Beirut yesterday that killed more than a ...
Read More »Towns Vie For Best Derelict Tribute To Trump
“Suck our exhaust, never-in-the-shade Donald Trump Bus Stop Shelter at Geha Interchange!” Maaleh Gerah, August 6 – Municipalities around Israel that sought to put themselves on the map by capturing the attention of a narcissistic American president with gestures expressing ...
Read More »Israelis Hope To Avoid Choice Between Lousy Gov’t And New Elections By Dying Of COVID
Choosing a “third way” to escape the purgatory of political futility. Jerusalem, August 5 – Ongoing tensions, ineffectiveness, and instability of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s ruling coalition have made many citizens aware that they may soon face the fourth parliamentary ...
Read More »UN Silent As Israel Again Shoots Down Helpless Hamas Missiles
“Defenseless missiles get blasted out of the sky by monstrous creations of imperialist powers hell-bent on repressing the legitimate resistance of oppressed peoples to settler-colonialism.” Sderot, August 4 – Human rights and pro-Palestinian activists fumed today at the international community’s ...
Read More »How Dare You Weaponize My Antisemitism By Mentioning It!
By Congresswoman Wata Bout Washington, August 3 – My political allies and I are sick and tired of finding our past statements invoking classic notions of Jewish power and perfidy used against us as a political cudgel, as if our ...
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