They’ve set their sights on the next level of legitimacy on a global level: Security Council membership. New York, June 11 – An area of Washington state’s largest city that the local government allowed protesters to take over has now ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionSpies In Canaan Aim To Inspire US Jews To Call Israel ‘Nice Place To Visit’
“It’s not only our own social position and fear of change we’re considering – it carries implications for all time.” Qadesh Barnea, June 11 – Ten men dispatched from this wilderness location to the Promised Land to bring back details regarding ...
Read More »Palestinians Refuse Emirati Shipment Of Inhabiting Reality
“You can lead a Palestinian leader to accountability, but you cannot make him take it on.” Ben-Gurion Airport, June 10 – An Etihad Airlines commercial jet landed at Israel’s main international airport Tuesday carrying medical equipment intended for use by ...
Read More »Joint List Angered At Israeli Decision To Exert Sovereignty Over Israel
“The issue isn’t what Israel took control of in 1967, but in 1948.” Jerusalem, June 9 – Lawmakers from the alliance of several mostly-Arab political parties in Israel’s parliament voiced outrage today at the government’s announced intention to continue exercising ...
Read More »Israelis 100% Protected From COVID Viruses Trying to Penetrate Chin
A handful of conscientious citizens even cover their mouths. Jerusalem, June 8 – Ministry of Health officials announced promising new figures today in the battle to contain coronavirus, figures that they contend show complete effectiveness of surgical and other masks ...
Read More »Janitor At Mossad HQ Accidentally Switches On ‘Riots Across US’ Device
Mossad technicians only realized on Tuesday that the stateside violence came from their machine. Tel Aviv, June 4 – Israeli secret intelligence officials and agents scrambled today to mitigate damage that resulted since late last week when a maintenance worker ...
Read More »You’re Not Allowed Double Standards But We Are
By Europe Brussels, June 4 – Perhaps we need to explain an important point that you fail to understand, a point that undergirds the framework of our international funding and policy, especially regarding the Middle East: we, the European Union, enjoy ...
Read More »Palestinians Offer Black Lives Matter Tips On How To Shoot Selves In PR Foot
“Here in Black Lives Matter we don’t have that kind of organic dig-yourself-into-an-even-deeper-hole experience.” St. Louis, June 3 – Organizers of a grassroots movement to raise awareness of and protest police violence against African-Americans have received helpful advice from activists ...
Read More »Man Can’t Get Socializing Done If 6-Ft Distancing In Place At Shul
“You can’t lean over and whisper a snarky comment to your buddy during the Rabbi’s recorded sermon the way you can in shul.” Bergenfield, New Jersey, June 2 – Family and friends of a regular Sabbath morning services attendee noted ...
Read More »Iran Physics Teacher Improvises Gravity Lesson: Watch Gays Tossed From Roofs
He came up with the ingenious idea after the older sibling of a student was convicted of homosexual activity and sentenced to death. Tehran, May 27 – Sanctions imposed on the Islamic republic have compounded an economic crunch in the ...
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