“Everyone should have grasped long ago that there is a special elite to whom the rules do not apply. It’s actually a little shameful to me that we had to make this explicit after all this time.” Jerusalem, September 24 ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionPneumatic Drill Nextdoor Unaware It Cause Of Lockdown Nervous Breakdown
Tightened restrictions imposed over the weekend exacerbated the domestic tensions, but the digging that began toward the end of August cemented their descent into the loony bin. Jerusalem, September 24 – A piece of heavy construction equipment demonstrated no awareness ...
Read More »Penitence Season Allows Me To Call Out Fellow Jews For Insufficient Progressiveness
by Rabbi Jill Jacobs, Truah – the Rabbinic Call for Human Rights New York, September 23 – The period from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur has always loomed large in my calendar, given its centrality in Jewish synagogue life and ...
Read More »Trump Laments Lack Of Black Trans Muslim Immigrant Women Candidates To Replace RBG
“If possible I’d also like the trans immigrant Muslim woman of color to be Jewish, too,” he added, “just like Justice Ginsburg. Jews make good judges. I like Jews.” Washington, September 22 – The President of the United States made ...
Read More »Campaign Hopes To Reach Ushpizin In Time To Get Them To Wear Masks
Concern that, despite their advanced age, the seven Ushpizin might be carrying the pathogen. Jerusalem, September 17 – A group of Jews concerned for the welfare of the elderly guests who visit each temporary residence during the upcoming Sukkot holiday ...
Read More »Hamas Trying To Increase Balloon-Bomb Range To Reach UAE, Bahrain
Hitting the desert in eastern Jordan or northern Saudi Arabia isn’t going to satisfy Hamas, because there are no forests, brush, or day care enters to set on fire there. Gaza City, September 17 – The militant Islamist organization that ...
Read More »California Fires So Bad, Beirut Buildings Burn Too
Behind it all, official incompetence and criminal negligence led to disastrous consequences. Beirut, September 16 – Wildfires raging in the westernmost of the US’s forty-eight states have grown so fierce, observers noted today, that buildings and entire port facilities all ...
Read More »Coronavirus Threatens Resignation If Litzman Not Reinstated As Minister
“I need someone who can work to help me do my job,” explained the coronavirus. Jerusalem, September 15 – The pathogen behind a global pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands and sickened millions more warned that unless former Minister ...
Read More »Man Glad Post Office Appointment Shaved Two Minutes Off 90-Minute Wait
Customer space is limited to six visitors at once, and the office never has on duty more than two or three clerks to serve the hundreds of people who require their services. Jerusalem, September 14 – Reduced staff and limits ...
Read More »If We In The EU Undermine Israeli Sovereignty, That Undoes the Holocaust, Right?
by Josep Borell, Chief of Foreign Policy, European Union Brussels, September 10 – Europe’s unified approach to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict grows in large part out of the Continent’s ambiguous legacy when it comes to the wholesale slaughter of Jews under ...
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