PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

 “I had my eye on the ministry of money laundering.” Nahariya, April 27 – The half-dozen citizens whose names have not been included in the roster of ministers forming the new national unity government admitted today they feel left out, ...

A neighbor declined to be identified by name, citing concerns of associated shame in the deeply conservative society of secular Israelis. Jerusalem, April 23 – Neighbors, relatives, and friends of a local resident expressed shock this morning upon discovering that he had ...

“The question we must ask ourselves is twofold: first, whose fault is it, and second, why bother asking when we know it’s always Israel’s fault?” Maaleh Adummim, April 23 – A ramming and stabbing attack against an Israel Border Guard ...

by Zarah Sultana, Labour Party MP for Coventry South London, 21 April – Thank goodness that’s done. Feigning concern for the welfare of Jews one day a year on the anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising exacts a price in ...

“If you’re Jewish, don’t betray your brethren by cheapening the Holocaust for personal gain or political capital, you kapo.” Washington, DC, April 21 – Researchers at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in the nation’s capital repeated their warning today ...

Chances of encountering useful opposition, i.e. an acceptable level of spitting shoving, and shouting for PR purposes, are close to nil. Jerusalem, April 20 – A group of feminism activists who mark the start of each Jewish month with a ...

“Sailing into this area wearing nothing but an American flag and expecting to be left alone is disingenuous at the very least.” Tehran – Officials of the Islamic Republic today dismissed allegations that its small craft had come dangerously close ...

“I cannot overstate the danger of letting those who think differently from disciples of Aharon Barak exert any lasting influence.” Tel Aviv, April 14 – Members of a narrow slice of the electorate with effective control of political and cultural institutions continue ...

“Oh, boy, yeah, dodged a bullet there,” he declared in the presence of his disappointed parents, a little too loudly. “Just crushed.” Jerusalem, April 13 – A local teenager confessed he is oh, yeah, absolutely let down at the current ...

The report did not identify the restaurants. Beirut, April 12 – A Shiite terrorist group that planned an elaborate scheme to kill the patrons in kosher establishments in Israel, North America, and Europe reported little progress of late, an intelligence ...