by Rabbi Jill Jacobs, Truah Rabbis – The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights New York, February 17 – The Western Wall must be open to all to seek a divine connection as they see fit, except that it lies beyond ...
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Feed SubscriptionCandidate Hopes To Dispel Stereotype Of Rich Jews By Impoverishing Everyone
“There’s no way this goes sideways.” Montpelier, VT, February 13 – A lifelong politician and committed socialist vowed again today to combat the pernicious, widespread assumption that Jews enrich themselves at the expense of others, through the imposition of an ...
Read More »YHWH Refuses To Stop Existing Even After Scholar Proves Semantic Incoherence Of ‘God’
“Trust us academics – we’re smarter than you so you have to believe us. Have a little faith, in other words.” Cambridge, February 13 – In what numerous observer are calling a display of divine stubbornness and arrogance, the Creator ...
Read More »EU Insists Accepting Haman’s Genocide Of Jews Will Empower Persian Moderates
They also seek to minimize steps that might compromise lucrative economic ties. Brussels, February 12 – European officials argued today against adopting a severe response to an impending Achaemenid program that aims to exterminate the Jews throughout the empire, contending that ...
Read More »Sderot In Shelters All Night After Rocket Alert Set To Sound Each Time Bibi Reneges On A Campaign Promise
The identity of the guilty party remains unknown at press time. Sderot, February 11 – Residents of this town near the border with the Gaza Strip spent yet another night in reinforced rooms and underground bunkers because a prankster reprogrammed the ...
Read More »Uneaten Tu Bishvat Fruit Ready To Be Repacked For Purim
“The rest of us stalwarts know better than to think anyone normal actually finds us appetizing.” Jerusalem, February 10 – Components of gift baskets that mark some observances of the Jewish new year for fruit trees voiced readiness today for ...
Read More »Ghost Of Rachel Corrie Condemned To Watching Helplessly Whenever IDF Destroys Hamas Weapons
“Ms. Corrie inhabits the eternity she created for herself.” Rafah, February 6 – The departed spirit of an American activist who sought to shield a terrorist armaments cache with her body but ended up crushed by a bulldozer must spend ...
Read More »As Long As ‘Peace’ Means We Can Keep Fighting, We’re In
by Jibril Rajoub, Fatah Ramallah, February 6 – Our people’s objections to President Trump’s “Peace Through Prosperity” plan span many different issues, but I wish to make clear that all of those problems have solutions available if we receive assurances ...
Read More »Protests: Ban On Sex With Animals To Prevent Coronavirus ‘Discriminatory’
“Two, four, six, eight, no bestiality means hate! Three, five, seven, nine, so what if my lover’s ovine?!” London, February 5 – Activists demonstrated here today against World Health Organization guidelines to prevent the further spread of a dangerous pathogen, ...
Read More »Abbas Vows To Find Voodoo Doll Behind Lack Of Palestinian Free Will
“The only explanation for our people and their leadership repeatedly refusing to demonstrate any sense that they possess any political or moral agency.” Ramallah, February 4 – The president of the body that governs the vast majority of Palestinians in ...
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