Similar omissions have occurred fifteen times since the Diversity Alliance was launched in 2015, only two thirds of which the group has acknowledged. New York, October 10 – A political association apologized today for neglecting to include in its list of groups ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionThe Bible Can’t Be Jewish Because It Doesn’t Mention ‘Tikkun Olam’
by Rabbi Christine Matthews III New York, October 7 – Countless people I meet make the same error: assuming that just because the Hebrew Bible came from within the Jewish cultural tradition dating back thousands of years, it somehow represents ...
Read More »NGO Very Good At Pointing Out What Others Must Atone For Before Yom Kippur
The epithet “Apartheid” featured prominently. New York, October 3 – Seasonal custom calls for Jews to conduct a reckoning of their behavior, and one organization that assumes the mantle of progressive Jewish values has demonstrated it excels in the important ...
Read More »Pakistan Wondering How Much Longer It Can Keep Citizen Anger Focused On Faraway Israel
“An emerging challenge for the leadership in deflecting attention from its cronyism, nepotism, incompetence, corruption, support for terrorists, warped domestic priorities, and other issues best left shrouded in distraction.” Islamabad, October 3 – A proven political strategy to divert popular resentment from the ...
Read More »MK: Zionists Enslave Millions Of Bees To Make Rosh Hashanah Honey
“We Palestinians know the same treatment at the hands of the rapacious, plundering invader.” Jerusalem, September 26 – A legislator from the Joint List alliance of Arab parties accused supporters of Jewish self-determination of subjecting millions of flying, pollinating insects ...
Read More »Area Man Able To Interpret Woman’s Every Gesture As Consent
“Oh, she so wants me,” one witness heard Mr. Pitzek remark for approximately the four hundredth time after passing the receptionist. Tel Aviv, September 26 – An employee at a local firm possesses the uncanny ability to understand each movement, ...
Read More »Gaza Blockade Tightens; Qatari Dollars Only Thing Left For Hamas To Launch At Israel
“I suppose we could light the money on fire beforehand, which would be an apt symbolic act.” Gaza City, September 25 – More effective implementation of restrictions on the movement of goods and people into and out of this coastal ...
Read More »Antisemites Polishing Up CVs As Democratic Campaigns Compete To Hire Them
“These developments mean we can continue our important advocacy work opposing Jewish self-determination and granting legitimacy to anti-Jewish behavior.” Burlington, September 24 – Jew-haters find themselves in demand among the pool of potential applicants for positions with the presidential and ...
Read More »We Recommend Gantz As Prime Minister As Long As We Can Also Indict Him For War Crimes
by MK Ayman Odeh, Joint List Haifa, September 23 – Our alliance of Arab parties has finally reached its fateful conclusion in the ongoing drama of the recent parliamentary elections: we have told President Rivlin that we back Benny Gantz ...
Read More »Racketeer In Hell Despite Shas Promise Of Heaven To Its Voters
Representatives of Shas declined to comment on the discrepancy between the campaign promise and Mr. Levy’s posthumous fate. Gehinnom, September 19 – A criminal who died this morning after casting his ballot on Tuesday for a party representing Jews of ...
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