Not for lack of trying. Near Gaza border fence with Israel, December 11 – Organizers of the once-weekly violent demonstrations against Israel at this location today confessed experiencing unprecedented built-up tension since last month’s bursts of rocket fire into Jewish ...
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Feed SubscriptionHamas Blasts Efforts To Interfere With Hamas Efforts To Interfere With UK Elections
“Corbyn is our friend, after all, and not just on Facebook.” Gaza City, December 10 – Members of the Islamist militant group that governs this coastal territory criticized today attempts to compromise the work of the organization’s unit to manipulate public ...
Read More »I’m Hoping To Get To Five Rejected Peace Proposals Before I’m Done
by Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority, and Chairman, Palestine Liberation Organization Ramallah, December 9 – President Donald Trump and his advisers have tries to generate excitement over their impending Deal of the Century to resolve the conflict between us and ...
Read More »Fight Erupts Between Jews Planting Ancient Zionist Evidence And God Planting Fossils
Fake fossils to test faith vs. fake artifacts to displace indigenous Palestinians. Jerusalem, December 5 – Time-traveling Zionists tasked with manufacturing a convincing ancient history for Jewish presence and sovereignty in the Holy Land clashed with the Creator, witnesses report, ...
Read More »BDS Suddenly Very Circumspect On Sanctions Of Murderous Iran Regime
“A few hundred, or even a few thousand, dead civilians isn’t always a big deal. Context matters when calling for BDS.” New York, December 5 – Leaders of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement that targets Israel over treatment of Palestinians ...
Read More »Ministry Of Interior Recognizes Environmentalism As Religion
Acknowledgement of a social reality. Jerusalem, December 4 – A movement that features doctrine, apostles, saints, a vision to transform society to conform to its tenets, and apocalyptic predictions if that vision does not become reality, has attained official status with ...
Read More »‘Land Of Milk And Honey’ Moniker On Hold As Tnuva Dairy Cartel Ceases Production To Protest Imports
“Back when the Spies thwarted a quick entry into Canaan we thought we had hit a speed bump, but the timing of this fiasco could have even more inconvenient implications.” Plains of Moab, December 3 – Repeated praise of Canaan ...
Read More »Meretz Head Demands IDF Mistreat Palestinians So His Tweets Won’t Be False
“The only way to remedy this is to transform IDF policy to match the preconceived image that dovetails with what prompts our funding sources in Europe.” Tel Aviv, December 2 – The leader of Israel’s main far-left delegation in the Knesset called ...
Read More »Rights Groups: Lack Of Palestinian Flags In Hong Kong Means They Don’t Really Want Freedom
If Palestinian flags prove hard to come by in Hong Kong, protesters could always express solidarity with Palestinians by attacking Jews. Hong Kong, November 28 – Months of pro-democracy and anti-Beijing protests in this former British possession, governed by China ...
Read More »Stop Calling Labour Antisemitic – Barely More Than Half Of Us Hate Jews
by Ann Teasemythe, party activist London, November 28 – Slander of our anti-racist political organization as racist against Jews continues despite the fact that only fifty-six percent of our members harbour such animosity towards those of the Hebrew persuasion. The ...
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