The trips on Epstein’s plane, which took place between 1990 and 2016, occurred as part of the musician’s ongoing advocacy for Palestinian rights. New York, September 12 – The publicists for a former Pink Floyd front man sought to downplay ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionI Like To Lecture Israel About Its Overblown Security Concerns From The Safety Of My NY Office
By Susan Lefkowitz-Li, J Street donor New York, September 12 – My status as wealthy Jewish-American grants me numerous privileges, which I acknowledge, but I savor none of them as much as I enjoy pontificating about the excessive measures the ...
Read More »IDF Blockade Renders Gaza Mosque Unable To Import Candy To Celebrate 9/11 Anniversary
Consumer goods may enter the coastal territory, but only through Israel via the Kerem Shalom facility or through Egypt via the Rafah crossing. Khan Yunis, September 11 – Worshipers hoping to have sweets on hand to mark eighteen years since nineteen ...
Read More »Inspection Of IAEA Facility Finds Traces Of Competence
Representatives of the agency declined to comment. Vienna, September 10 – A recent exploration of the International Atomic Energy Agency’s various offices and laboratories has turned up evidence that the organization possesses the capacity to conduct effective monitoring of Iran’s ...
Read More »Skeletons In Candidate’s Closet Really Getting Sick Of Smelling Mothballs
“If I could throw up I’d be doing so at least once a day.” Tel Aviv, September 9 – Several dark secrets of a political hopeful, in the form of human remains concealed behind the cabinet doors in a spare ...
Read More »Area Boomer Finally Learns To Program VCR
He proceeded to call his children to inform them of the milestone, and to bask in the anticipated admiration they would no doubt display. Maale Adummim, September 5 – A resident of this town in the Judean Desert east of Jerusalem ...
Read More »China Cancels Adoption Of Judaism, Fearing Muslim Nations Will No Longer Endorse Its Repression Of Muslims
“The precedent of the Jewish state of Israel, which engages in all the same activities as any other state but somehow attracts inexplicable venom from the Muslim world, indicates what awaits China should it embark on this Judaism policy.” Beijing, ...
Read More »Out-Of-Shape IDF Recruits Now Eligible To Serve As Mannequins At Lebanese Border
The army will thus expand eligibility for “combat” status, which commands greater prestige and higher pay. Shlomi, September 4 – A new Israeli military tactic in the long-running conflict with the Shiite militia Hezbollah has created combat opportunities for soldiers ...
Read More »It’s Racist Of Israel Not To Let Us Ban Jews From The Other 3% Of Hebron
by Subhi Sh’hada Hebron, September 3 – I need not inform the reader that my hometown bears the distinction of one of the most radicalized locations in the region, if not the world. A hardcore group of several hundred Jews, ...
Read More »Scalpers Driving Up High Holiday Seat Prices
Rabbi Phil T. Luker has spoken out against the phenomenon. New York, September 2 – Would-be synagogue attendees find themselves unable to afford tickets to New Year and Day of Atonement services at metro area Jewish houses of worship, observers report, ...
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