“Officially, as you know, this is for their own sake, which is why we also build high walls around their camps, we love them so much.” Beirut, August 29 – Residents of Israel’s tiny northern neighbor voiced puzzlement today regarding ...
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Feed SubscriptionRussians Leak Result Of Israeli Election 3 Weeks Prematurely
An official from Russia’s intelligence agency admitted his organization failed to maintain adequate data security. Moscow, August 29 – Officials in the administration of President Vladimir Putin voiced embarrassment today following the accidental release of the outcome of the upcoming ...
Read More »Authorities Unable To Enforce Government Monopoly On Stupidity
The government remains peerless in the production, management, and delivery of stupidity. Jerusalem, August 28 – Concern has increased in recent months regarding illegal engagement in blockhead policy-making and decisions, officials acknowledged today, following the publication of a report yesterday ...
Read More »Hamas Claims Credit For Burning Amazon With Incendiary Balloons
President Jair Bolsonaro has established close ties with Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, making his country a legitimate target in Palestinian and Islamist eyes. Brasilia, August 27 – The Islamist movement governing the Gaza Strip that uses kites, helium balloons, ...
Read More »Safety Precautions Force Nasrallah To Conduct Conjugal Visits Via Skype
A Hezbollah spokesman disclosed this development as part of an information campaign by the organization to project a more realistic image than before, including footage of facilities destroyed in Israeli strikes. Beirut, August 26 – The chief of Iran’s main ...
Read More »It’s Easier To Launch Semantic Tangents Such As ‘Arabs Are Semites Too’ Than Address Arab Antisemitism
By Rebecca Goldsmith, If Not Now activist I always counsel my pro-Palestine allies to keep the focus of rhetoric on Islamophobic manifestations and anti-Muslim violence, especially from Israel, but it can be hard to maintain that focus when others bring up ...
Read More »Bomber Decries ‘Dehumanizing’ Security Check That Prevented His Synagogue Entry
“Prioritizing Jews’ wish to live when others seek to kill them flies in the face of established norms.” Jerusalem, August 22 – A would-be terrorist attacker denounced safety procedures at a Jewish house of worship this morning, asserting they made ...
Read More »With Jews Sovereign And Prospering, Mideast Arabs Struggle To Find People To Look Down On
The traditional paradigm cannot account for a not-under-anyone’s-boot Jew. Petra, Jordan, August 21 – Generations of Muslim Arabs throughout the region long knew that no matter how low they sank on the social, economic, or political totem pole, at least ...
Read More »NGOs Call Cameras At Arab Polling Places A Breach Of Right To Commit Fraud
“Here the state squelches an important non-violent avenue of expression for Palestinian resistance.” Umm El-Fahm, August 20 – Activists decried the Israeli authorities’ intention to install equipment at voting stations in advance of next month’s parliamentary elections to prevent false ...
Read More »Woman Who Can’t Afford To Buy Burial Plot Hoping To Rent
Official regulations guarantee every citizen a burial plot, but that right extends only to the bare provision of a place of interment; it does not guarantee any specific location, type of grave, or placement next to other deceased relatives. Jerusalem, August 19 ...
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