“The IHRA definition now forces me to choose between political morality and political oblivion.” London, June 13 – The leader of Britain’s Labour Party wrote this week to the organization with the most widely-accepted parameters for deeming statements or attitudes ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionLatest Fad Diet Has Rich Syrians Eating ‘Food’
Wealthy Syrians now flaunt their use of food while touting its various health benefits. Damascus, June 12 – Social commentators in the Syrian Arab Republic note an emerging trend among the country’s political and economic elite, a new article states, ...
Read More »Israeli Pundits Lament Lack Of Hipster Coffee Shops In Which To Overhear Statements That Confirm Their Biases
“This is obviously a result of the far-right demagoguery of Netanyahu and his minions.” Tel Aviv, June 6 – Journalists from some of the major media outlets in the country expressed frustration and disappointment today at the relative paucity of ...
Read More »Israeli Commercials The Dumbest In OECD Countries
“Just where the sweet spot is – finding that narrow zone of annoyance that makes it almost, but not quite, worth it to change the station or turn off the program.” Tel Aviv, June 6 – A survey of broadcast ...
Read More »Palestinians To Reenact D-Day, Aftermath By Shooting Americans
“We could just continue what we’ve been doing for years and fire our rockets at civilians, as the Germans did to Britain, but you wouldn’t know that’s a D-Day thing.” Caen, June 5 – The seventy-fifth anniversary of the Allied ...
Read More »No, Weinberg, It’s MY Turn To Control The Stock Market Today
By Moshe Katz, Deputy Assistant Elder of Zion New York, June 5 – What’s this? Hello? Weinberg, what are you doing here? The Elders assigned me the task of manipulating the New York Stock Exchange today, not you. Please leave. Yes, ...
Read More »Assad Just Killing Off Civilians So None Get Hurt When He Attacks Rebels
“The international news media, controlled by our enemies, will continue to portray our noble efforts as barbaric.” Idlib, June 4 – Syrian forces have targeted noncombatants in the country’s eight-year-old civil war to endure that when strikes take place against ...
Read More »Suicide Bomber Detonates Too Late, Takes Out 72 Virgins
“There were body parts everywhere,” recalled Archangel Gabriel. Hodeidah, Yemen, May 30 – A jihad warrior wearing an explosive vest set off his charge a split second after his partner today, resulting in the second explosion straddling the earthly and Jannah ...
Read More »Iran Calls On People To Reject ‘Zionist’ Agricultural Advances, Calling Survival ‘Un-Islamic’
“If we truly loved our families and friends, we would spare them the everlasting shame and hellfire that awaits those who use drip irrigation.” Tehran, May 30 – The Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran demanded today that ...
Read More »New Elections Announced: NGOs Slam Israel For Hogging Region’s Democracy
“Israel must relinquish its near-monopoly on this precious resource, to which everyone has a right.” Jerusalem, May 29 – The increasing likelihood of a second round of parliamentary elections this year in Israel has prompted criticism from human rights organizations ...
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