PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

“Ms. Tlaib expressed our aims as succinctly as anyone could.” Tehran, May 14 – Leaders of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps voiced frustration today with widespread misunderstanding of its role in arming, training, and funding Islamist militant groups throughout the ...

“We never saw an allosaurus do anything that dumb, and their brains are no bigger than ours, if you catch my drift.” Late Cretaceous, May 13 – Reptiles that ruled the earth for 120 million years before an asteroid impact ...

Humans abandoned Yarmouk eighty thousand years ago, but the remaining creatures maintain the ancient fight. Damascus, May 8 – Few living things remain on Earth, but the small number of protozoa, bacteria, and other microscopic life forms inhabiting an area ...

“We mistook the genocidal rhetoric of the account in question for an over-the-top parody.” San Francisco, May 9 – Micro-blogging media giant Twitter announced today it had apologized and reinstated the account of the Islamist group that runs the Gaza ...

Witnesses reported the presence of both grandmothers in the room at the time. Jerusalem, May 8 – The four-year-old child of a man and woman whose respective ancestries hail from different parts of eastern Europe, and whose grandmothers therefore bring ...

They reacted with open-mouthed awe at the scale at which Hamas commits deadly violence aimed at securing infusions of cash from Qatar via Israel. New York, May 7 – Leading figures in the city’s organized crime underworld expressed admiration and ...

By Wafa Shtayyeh, Hamas wife and mother Shuja’iyya Refugee Camp, Gaza Strip – Honey, I know you love when we break out the special missiles with the sleek design, but you know we only use those when special people are ...

“It’s encouraging that Hamas appears to be looking beyond victory at what actual policy looks like in the absence of their lifelong enemy.” Gaza City, May 1 – Military planners of the Islamist movement that governs this territory conducted a missile test ...

“Can you imagine what would have happened to me if I’d rendered assistance without an adequate search of the guy’s Twitter, and it turned out he had liked a tweet by someone who has been insufficiently vehement in denouncing unenthusiastic ...

He suggested Zionists lie behind the attempt to contaminate public discourse with notions of accountability, democracy, and fiduciary propriety. Ramallah, May 1 – The Palestinian president voiced indignance today ahead of a conference on his administration’s financial situation that anyone could ...