“If we want our children safer in school, in the streets, and at home, we need to ban firearms; if we want our children to have enough to eat and a comfortable life, we need to ban poverty.” New York, ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionWe Somalis Are So Proud That Ilhan Omar, A Somali, Cares More About Palestine Than About Us
By Yusuf Daar, student Mogadishu, March 12 – Somalia has not had many reasons to gloat in recent years, even decades. Protracted civil war, Failed State status, rampant Islamic terrorism, and economic challenges have each played a part in creating, ...
Read More »Factory Adds ‘Not To Be Used To Carry Explosives’ Stamp To Balloons Exported To Gaza
“That’s got to be one imbecile of an end user. Are they American?” Guangzhou, March 11 – Staff at a manufacturer of synthetic rubber festive accessories in this Chinese port city voiced frustration with the Palestinian militant movement Hamas today ...
Read More »Democrats Relax On Global Warming After Ayatollah Issues Fatwa Forbidding Climate To Change
John Kerry urged his Democratic colleagues to free up organizational resources and time for other important areas of concern now that Khamenei had solved the climate crisis. Tehran, March 6 – A group that, in its efforts to persuade the public ...
Read More »Lack Of Wells Won’t Stop Plucky Palestinians From Accusing Israel Of Poisoning Wells
Or the media from reporting those claims at face value. Khan al-Amar, March 7 – The absence of underground water sources in the vicinity of this makeshift settlement has not impeded the resilient Arab residents of the area in their efforts ...
Read More »In Bold Move, Bibi Aims To Unify Otzma, Arab List Under Single Racist Banner
Experts offered cautious praise for Netanyahu’s willingness to think outside the traditional confines of Israeli politics. Jerusalem, March 6 – Israel’s political landscape underwent upheaval today following an announcement by the incumbent prime minister that ahead of parliamentary elections this ...
Read More »Bribery Suspected As School Principal Gets Positive Coverage From Student Newspaper
The ministry sees her an unable to function in her normal capacity with this inquiry hanging over her. Mazkeret Batya, March 5 – A local headmaster faces an ethics inquiry following revelations that the monthly publication put out by the ...
Read More »Token Antizionist Jews Call Zionist Muslims Tokenism
“This organization, which brings together progressive Jews by the dozens to combat the sinister machinations of millions of Zionist settler colonialists, will call out such tokenism wherever it occurs.” Berkeley, March 4 – Jews who oppose the manifestation of Jewish ...
Read More »The Cat In The Hat Comes Back Is A Zionist Ethnosupremacist Allegory
By Gree Vance, Professor of Literature, Bumblethuck College New York, February 27 – Theodore Seuss Geisel earned numerous plaudits for his children’s books, but a new examination of one of his better-known works reveals a dark undercurrent of racism, Islamophobia, ...
Read More »IDF Stunned To Discover Producing Generals-Turned-Politicians Not Core Mission
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” retorted Gantz, who heads the party with the best chance of unseating Netanyahu this April 9. Tel Aviv, February 28 – Israeli military officials expressed shock and confusion today upon realizing their organization’s main ...
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