“I take back my apology for my tweets about AIPAC buying off member of congress,” stated Congresswoman Ilhan Omar (D-MN). Jerusalem, February 13 – Opponents of Jews seized an opportunity to denounce the demographic group following the accidental publication of a book ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionNear-Total Overlap Of Antisemitism And Anti-Zionism Just A Coincidence
Anti-Zionists-not-antisemites voiced gratification at the publication of the study. London, February 11 – Researchers have determined that the uncanny correlation between hatred for Jews and opposition to Israel constitutes a statistical fluke, a recent study reports, cautioning that observers ought ...
Read More »What’s Important Is I Don’t IDENTIFY As An Antisemite
By Congresswoman Ilhan Omar (D-MN) The current brouhaha over my rhetoric glosses over the most significant point of all: I declare myself to have only warm feelings for Jews, and insisting that I am something other than what I proclaim ...
Read More »IDF Causing Palestinian Heart Attacks As Pretext To Give Care, Boost Image
The medical care could not be altruistic, since “this is Israel we’re talking about.” Gush Etzion Crossing, February 6 – Israeli soldiers instigate cardiac arrest in vulnerable Palestinians for purposes of treating them and looking good as a result, human rights ...
Read More »In UAE, Pope Discovers Marriage Loophole For Sex Abuse Of Minors
“It’s not unprecedented to undo thousands of years of doctrine with the stroke of a pen,” remarked religion scholar Pete O’Filia. Abu Dhabi, February 7 – The head of the Roman Catholic Church slapped his forehead in a moment of ...
Read More »Melee In Palestinian Starbucks As Every Patron Claims To Be Real Slim Shady
Palestinian envoy to the United Nations Riyad Mansour told reporters he would request that his Arab colleagues at the organization draft a Security Council resolution reaffirming every Palestinian as the real Slim Shady. Ramallah, February 6 – Police broke up ...
Read More »New Party Just Aggregator Of Other Parties
“Being an aggregator and posing as something original isn’t even original,” he added. “Tzipi Livni did it first.” Tel Aviv, February 5 – Tech analysts examining the composition of Israel’s most attention-grabbing political entity discovered today that the party produces ...
Read More »Mossad Weather Chief Won’t Let Kids Touch Thermostat At Home
“It’s like telling us we can’t eat junk food and then chowing down on a bowl of Doritos,” insisted the oldest, 12. Modiin, February 4 – Children of the man who oversees Israel’s clandestine projects to control temperature, winds, precipitation, ...
Read More »Dem Congresswoman Rejects Donor Over Social Media Posts Lacking Antisemitism
“Never let it be said that Congresswoman Tlaib’s hands are soiled with such dirty money.” Ypsilanti, MI, January 30 – A first-term congresswoman has pledged to return a campaign contribution from a party stalwart following an investigation into the giver’s ...
Read More »IDF Condemned For Shells With ‘Learn To Code’ Inside
“‘Learn to code’ can only serve to destroy Palestinian self-esteem, similar to the anticipated effect it will have on ex-Buzzfeed personnel.” Tel Aviv, January 31 – Human rights organizations slammed Israel’s military this week upon learning that the IDF has printed on ...
Read More »