“J Street will conduct a full investigation of Mike Rotch.” Washington, November 6 – A progressive political advocacy group calling itself “pro-Israel, pro-peace” promised today to get to the bottom of an emerging scandal, in which a politician the group ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMossad Changes Iran Nuclear Password To “••••••••••••••”
Psychological warfare as much as technical sabotage. Tehran, November 5 – Officials in the Islamic Republic of Iran’s atomic weapons development program found themselves locked out of the system governing the initiative this week after Israel’s secret intelligence agency neutralized ...
Read More »I Boycott Jerusalem Elections, Then Complain The City Ignores Me
By Alhaf Suwij, East Jerusalem resident Ras-a-Amud, Jerusalem, October 31 – Maintaining one’s ideological principles is important. Me, I adhere to my people’s official position that participating in the holy city’s municipal elections normalizes occupation, and therefore all Palestinians must ...
Read More »Activists Proud They’re Waiting Till After Shiva To Blame Pittsburgh Victims
Not all activists are on board with the decision. Pittsburgh, November 1 – Members of anti-Israel groups congratulated themselves on their sensitivity this week for refraining from harassing those who lost loved ones in a mass synagogue shooting this past ...
Read More »Arabs Fear Warming Ties With Israel Will Cause Democracy, Freedoms
“Democracy is a nice word, but it’s a foreign idea that should never have been introduced into the region.” Abu Dhabi, October 31 – A high-profile visit by the Jewish State’s Minister of Culture this week to this Arabian Gulf ...
Read More »Polls See Victory For Candidates That Didn’t Bombard Voters With Text Messages
“It was clearly a cathartic experience for some voters to specifically choose the ballots of those opposing the ones who basically harassed them.” Jerusalem, October 30 – Israeli local elections taking place today throughout the country appear to bear out ...
Read More »Lara Alqassem Blending In Among Heb. U Faculty
“I thought I’d be more conspicuous,” she admitted. Jerusalem, October 24 – An American anti-Israel activist whose expulsion from the country was overturned by the High Court began her studies today at the Hebrew University, where her radical politics and ...
Read More »Palestinian Authority To Pay Lifetime Pension To Pittsburgh Shooter
“Our affinity with Nazis goes back to Mufti Husseini, and that affinity is thicker than mere ethnicity.” Ramallah, October 28 – The white supremacist who opened fire inside a Pennsylvania synagogue and killed 11 people will receive a generous monthly ...
Read More »Mossad Postpones Tehran Earthquake Till Agents Finish Stealing Mullahs’ Shoes
The agency aims to leverage control of Iran’s seismic activity and its weather to bring the enemy country to its knees. Tel Aviv, October 25 – Israel’s secret intelligence service has delayed the operation of its newest seismic device to ...
Read More »We Prefer More Subtle Antisemitism At This Institution, Mr. Crabtree
By Professor Albert Bunchwick, Rector Sit down, Mr. Crabtree. We must have a little talk. It has come to the administration’s attention that during your lectures, you have taken to indulgence in some rather distasteful stereotypes about members of the ...
Read More »