“The stories of mohels down on their luck, but who can perform three circumcisions at once, strain credulity at best, and constitute outright fraud at worst.” Los Angeles, November 21 – Rabbinic circles buzzed today with emerging allegations that the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionUS Urged To Shift From Alliance With Repressive Monarchy To Alliance With Repressive Theocracy
“The mullahs of Tehran export an entirely different type of ideology that has led to entirely different worldwide terrorism and instability.” Washington, November 20 – Diplomats, politicians, and activists have seized upon last month’s grisly kidnap and murder of a ...
Read More »In Next Gov’t, Netanyahu To Cut To Chase And Hold All Portfolios
Experts expressed diverse opinions on the wisdom of such a move. Jerusalem, November 19 – Coalition troubles that led to the impending collapse of the current Likud-led government has the prime minister considering a policy that upon reelection will see ...
Read More »Man Mystified That Changing Profile Pic Hasn’t Ended War
“Imagine how history would be different if there had been a social media campaign of this nature and power before the Second World War.” Kiryat Motzkin, November 14 – A resident of this Haifa suburb voiced confusion and frustration today ...
Read More »UK Labour Reassures Jews They Will Be Blamed Whether Brexit Works Or Fails
Labour will maintain its reliable attitude toward the Jewish community no matter the outcome of negotiations. London, November 15 – Opposition leaders in the United Kingdom sought to assuage Jewish concerns over anticipated antisemitic backlash over Britain’s imminent step away ...
Read More »NGOs Call Israel Shooting Down Hamas Rockets ‘Disproportionate’
Shooting down the rockets in mid-flight presupposes both malicious intent and actual damage or harm. New York, November 14 – Human rights groups denounced Israel today for its use of a missile defense system against weapons launched from the Gaza ...
Read More »My Genocidal Antisemitism Does Not Necessarily Represent The Views Of My Genocidally Antisemitic Employer
By Yahya Sinwar, Hamas leader Somewhere beneath Shifa Hospital, Gaza City, November 14 – Recent confusion regarding the specific manifestations of murderous hatred that I and my organization espouse has made it necessary to issue the following disclaimer: my expressions ...
Read More »Hamas Funeral Hits Snag As All Gravedigger Shovels Busy Digging Terror Tunnels
Embarrassed movement figures attempted to downplay the mistake. Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip November 12 – Burial for a number of Islamist fighters killed in a clash with Israel yesterday encountered delays when cemetery workers discovered the equipment they needed to ...
Read More »Report: Furbies, Bell-Bottoms Now More Relevant Than Palestinians
Already in 2001, Rainbow Brite and Pet Rocks were viewed as more pertinent to world affairs. Vienna, November 7 – A new assessment of emerging global trends has found that the Palestinian national cause now ranks as less pertinent and ...
Read More »Israeli Voters Have Gall To Value Own Lives Over American Progressive Values
The cause of this Israeli brazenness remains unknown. Jerusalem, November 8 – A majority of the electorate in the Jewish State continues to demonstrate unprecedented temerity by placing greater priority on their own safety and security than on the ideals ...
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