Embarrassed movement figures attempted to downplay the mistake. Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip November 12 – Burial for a number of Islamist fighters killed in a clash with Israel yesterday encountered delays when cemetery workers discovered the equipment they needed to ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionReport: Furbies, Bell-Bottoms Now More Relevant Than Palestinians
Already in 2001, Rainbow Brite and Pet Rocks were viewed as more pertinent to world affairs. Vienna, November 7 – A new assessment of emerging global trends has found that the Palestinian national cause now ranks as less pertinent and ...
Read More »Israeli Voters Have Gall To Value Own Lives Over American Progressive Values
The cause of this Israeli brazenness remains unknown. Jerusalem, November 8 – A majority of the electorate in the Jewish State continues to demonstrate unprecedented temerity by placing greater priority on their own safety and security than on the ideals ...
Read More »Failed Stabbing Of Soldier Botches Chance For Dramatic Marriage Proposal
A friend filmed the episode from a distance. Ofer Prison, November 7 – A Palestinian whose attempt to kill an IDF trooper, and to use the excitement of the moment to ask his girlfriend to marry him, fell short of ...
Read More »J Street Vows Investigation After Endorsed Candidate Makes Pro-Israel Statement
“J Street will conduct a full investigation of Mike Rotch.” Washington, November 6 – A progressive political advocacy group calling itself “pro-Israel, pro-peace” promised today to get to the bottom of an emerging scandal, in which a politician the group ...
Read More »Mossad Changes Iran Nuclear Password To “••••••••••••••”
Psychological warfare as much as technical sabotage. Tehran, November 5 – Officials in the Islamic Republic of Iran’s atomic weapons development program found themselves locked out of the system governing the initiative this week after Israel’s secret intelligence agency neutralized ...
Read More »I Boycott Jerusalem Elections, Then Complain The City Ignores Me
By Alhaf Suwij, East Jerusalem resident Ras-a-Amud, Jerusalem, October 31 – Maintaining one’s ideological principles is important. Me, I adhere to my people’s official position that participating in the holy city’s municipal elections normalizes occupation, and therefore all Palestinians must ...
Read More »Activists Proud They’re Waiting Till After Shiva To Blame Pittsburgh Victims
Not all activists are on board with the decision. Pittsburgh, November 1 – Members of anti-Israel groups congratulated themselves on their sensitivity this week for refraining from harassing those who lost loved ones in a mass synagogue shooting this past ...
Read More »Arabs Fear Warming Ties With Israel Will Cause Democracy, Freedoms
“Democracy is a nice word, but it’s a foreign idea that should never have been introduced into the region.” Abu Dhabi, October 31 – A high-profile visit by the Jewish State’s Minister of Culture this week to this Arabian Gulf ...
Read More »Polls See Victory For Candidates That Didn’t Bombard Voters With Text Messages
“It was clearly a cathartic experience for some voters to specifically choose the ballots of those opposing the ones who basically harassed them.” Jerusalem, October 30 – Israeli local elections taking place today throughout the country appear to bear out ...
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