Shooting down the rockets in mid-flight presupposes both malicious intent and actual damage or harm. New York, November 14 – Human rights groups denounced Israel today for its use of a missile defense system against weapons launched from the Gaza ...
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Feed SubscriptionMy Genocidal Antisemitism Does Not Necessarily Represent The Views Of My Genocidally Antisemitic Employer
By Yahya Sinwar, Hamas leader Somewhere beneath Shifa Hospital, Gaza City, November 14 – Recent confusion regarding the specific manifestations of murderous hatred that I and my organization espouse has made it necessary to issue the following disclaimer: my expressions ...
Read More »Hamas Funeral Hits Snag As All Gravedigger Shovels Busy Digging Terror Tunnels
Embarrassed movement figures attempted to downplay the mistake. Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip November 12 – Burial for a number of Islamist fighters killed in a clash with Israel yesterday encountered delays when cemetery workers discovered the equipment they needed to ...
Read More »Report: Furbies, Bell-Bottoms Now More Relevant Than Palestinians
Already in 2001, Rainbow Brite and Pet Rocks were viewed as more pertinent to world affairs. Vienna, November 7 – A new assessment of emerging global trends has found that the Palestinian national cause now ranks as less pertinent and ...
Read More »Israeli Voters Have Gall To Value Own Lives Over American Progressive Values
The cause of this Israeli brazenness remains unknown. Jerusalem, November 8 – A majority of the electorate in the Jewish State continues to demonstrate unprecedented temerity by placing greater priority on their own safety and security than on the ideals ...
Read More »Failed Stabbing Of Soldier Botches Chance For Dramatic Marriage Proposal
A friend filmed the episode from a distance. Ofer Prison, November 7 – A Palestinian whose attempt to kill an IDF trooper, and to use the excitement of the moment to ask his girlfriend to marry him, fell short of ...
Read More »J Street Vows Investigation After Endorsed Candidate Makes Pro-Israel Statement
“J Street will conduct a full investigation of Mike Rotch.” Washington, November 6 – A progressive political advocacy group calling itself “pro-Israel, pro-peace” promised today to get to the bottom of an emerging scandal, in which a politician the group ...
Read More »Mossad Changes Iran Nuclear Password To “••••••••••••••”
Psychological warfare as much as technical sabotage. Tehran, November 5 – Officials in the Islamic Republic of Iran’s atomic weapons development program found themselves locked out of the system governing the initiative this week after Israel’s secret intelligence agency neutralized ...
Read More »I Boycott Jerusalem Elections, Then Complain The City Ignores Me
By Alhaf Suwij, East Jerusalem resident Ras-a-Amud, Jerusalem, October 31 – Maintaining one’s ideological principles is important. Me, I adhere to my people’s official position that participating in the holy city’s municipal elections normalizes occupation, and therefore all Palestinians must ...
Read More »Activists Proud They’re Waiting Till After Shiva To Blame Pittsburgh Victims
Not all activists are on board with the decision. Pittsburgh, November 1 – Members of anti-Israel groups congratulated themselves on their sensitivity this week for refraining from harassing those who lost loved ones in a mass synagogue shooting this past ...
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