“It should free us up to incite our people to murderous violence instead of having to meet each and every Israeli move with a separate such statement.” Ramallah, July 11 – Officials of the Palestinian Authority that governs the entity’s ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMaybe We Palestinians Shouldn’t Have Had Neymar Coach Us On Faking Injuries
By Mahmoud Al-Zahar, Hamas spokesman All means are acceptable in throwing off the yoke of the Zionist usurper. Staging incidents and inflating casualty figures boasts a long and glorious history in Palestinian lore, at least since Deir Yassin. But the ...
Read More »Madam Rosmerta’s Oak-Matured Mead to Get OU Supervision
“It’s time for me to take my business beyond the magical community.” Hogsmeade, July 10 – Connoisseurs of this wizarding village’s unique delicacies reported a wave of interest today following an announcement that the largest organization in the world handling ...
Read More »Zionist Summer Camps Boosting Aliyah By At Least 0%
The number of Jews moving to Israel from the US without Moshava would be different by a statistically insignificant margin. Honesdale, Pennsylvania, July 9 – Staff and administration at the largest Bnei Akiva summer program in the US expressed satisfaction ...
Read More »Troll Commenting On Niche Jewish Website Definitely Winning Hearts And Minds
“I’m definitely making an impact,” he assessed. Montclair, New Jersey, July 3 – An internet user who devotes time to posting incendiary comments to articles on a Jewish website with a modest following believes he has come closer to accomplishing ...
Read More »Preschool Teacher Censured For Missing Quota Of Crap To Send Home With Kids
“Unless those quotas are met, parents will be confronted with the prospect of having usable space in their homes, and that would be a disaster.” Jerusalem, July 4 – A nursery school educator in the Nahalat Ahim neighborhood of the ...
Read More »Clouds Left Behind In Iran By Mossad Deny They’re Bitter
News of Israel stealing Iran’s rain clouds broke earlier his week when an Iranian general made the accusation in an address. Qom, July 5 – Masses of atmospheric water droplets and other particles forced to remain in the skies over ...
Read More »MK Zahalka Writhes On Ground As Bill Rejected, Angling For Red Card
Referees issued no such sanction, according to witnesses. Jerusalem, July 5 – A legislator from the Joint List whose grandstanding piece of legislation called for international supervision of an Israeli nuclear facility has been faking an injury in the parliamentary ...
Read More »Gov’t To Prevent More Fires From Gaza Arson By Burning Entire South Of Israel
Incendiary balloons and kites from Gaza have become par for the course in Israel’s south over the last several months. Kissufim, July 4 – Mounting damage from Palestinian balloons and kites attached to incendiary devices has prompted defense officials to ...
Read More »The Goyim Know
By Rabbi Mendel Moskowitz Alert! Shut it down! Shut it down! They know! The jig is up! The goyim know! I can’t tell you exactly what the goyim know, because if you’re a goy and you don’t yet know, I’m ...
Read More »