The sixty-year-old can maintain her commitment to not quite making it to the top, and to finding just the right moment to jump ship. Jerusalem, July 26 – Congratulations to a veteran lawmaker poured in today following the announcement that ...
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Feed SubscriptionIsrael To Allow Only Women On Temple Mount; ‘Throw Rocks Like Girls’
If the program proves successful, they and the IDF will consider expanding it to other areas prone to Arab violence. Jerusalem, July 25 – Police will restrict entry to the compound housing a disputed holy site following outbreaks of violence, ...
Read More »Man’s Computer Emits Noxious Fumes After He Accidentally Installs Microsoft Orifice
“This is is just a foul situation.” Beer Sheva, July 24 – A user complained of an unpleasant odor emanating from his desktop today following an incident in which instead of installing the latest version of the Office suite of ...
Read More »We Find The Use Of Profanity In Calling Mr. Corbyn Antisemitic More Troubling Than His Antisemitism
By UK Labour When an MP from our party whose family members were killed in the Holocaust stood up in Parliament on Tuesday and called our chairman a “@%$&ing anti-Semite,” we were appalled that the situation had deteriorated to the ...
Read More »God Wishes You’d Decide What He Thinks Already
He proceeded to list numerous occasions on which human understanding of the divine will shifted, indicating a pathetic grasp of what the divine attribute of eternity means. Heaven, July 18 – Supernal sources reported today that the almighty creator of ...
Read More »Judean Intelligence Absconds With Cartloads Of Parthian Archery Program Cuneiform Tablets
Judean agents deployed in the Parthian capital had identified an old grain silo on the outskirts of the city as the storage facility housing the secret trove. Jerusalem, July 19 – The administration of Queen Salome scored an intelligence and ...
Read More »Sarsour To Fly To Iran To Force Women To Wear Hijab, Symbol Of Empowerment
She will share the wonders of the hijab with women overseas who have succumbed to misguided notions about the garment and its implications for feminism. New York, July 19 – A leader of the Women’s March feminist movement in the ...
Read More »Haaretz Editor Unsure If Proposal To Change Anthem To Horst-Wessel-Lied Sardonic Or Sincere
“The only way to prevent Bibi and company from imposing fascism is to overthrow his junta and impose the right – which is to say left – kind of fascism.” Tel Aviv, July 18 – An editorial staff member at ...
Read More »Rights Groups: Why Doesn’t Gaza Fence Have Fence To Prevent Palestinians From Approaching, Getting Shot?
Some human rights advocates believe a single additional fence does not go far enough. Sderot, July 18 – Critics of Israel’s treatment of Palestinians censured the IDF today for neglecting to take precautions that they assert would save Palestinian lives ...
Read More »Thousands Of Israelis Intentionally Planned Travel At Same Time As You
The chief concern among every single one crossing your path is how best to disrupt your movements and maximize your hassles. Ben Gurion Airport, July 17 – A survey of the hundreds of thousands of travelers passing through Israel’s largest ...
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