“This is just a rematch of last year’s series, so it’s not as compelling a story to hijack. Not as much buzz.” Oakland, May 20 – Activists accustomed to co-opting every popular issue or cause for anti-Israel advocacy purposes have ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIsrael Soccer Association Worried May Never Be Corrupt Enough To Host World Cup
“It’s that nexus of sports and politics where the real greed, graft, extortion, and other dirt have to be well established for FIFA to even look your way, and unfortunately for us, we’re not at that level.” Ramat Gan, May ...
Read More »After Airstrikes Kill 0 Gazans, Hamas Slams Israel For Depriving Them Of Corpses To Display
“When will the world understand what we face in Palestine?” Khan Yunis, May 31 – Palestinian terrorist factions who had hoped to trigger a bloody Israeli response to more than 100 rockets and mortar shells launched from the Gaza Strip ...
Read More »Joint List MK Not Saying Killing Jews Legitimate, But Killing Jews Legitimate
Zoabi assured reporters that she should not be misunderstood as endorsing violence, while she merely sought to endorse violence. Jerusalem, May 30 – A prominent legislator from the mostly-Arab alliance of parties in the Knesset stopped short of calling mortar ...
Read More »Stabbing, Bus-Bombing, Arson-Committing, Plane-Hijacking, Car-Ramming, Firebomb-Throwing, Civilian-Shooting, Violence-Inciting Palestinians Don’t Know What Else To Do To Convince You They’re Innocent Victims
“We have a hard time figuring out how the heck else to convey our innocent victim status through our behavior.” Ramallah, May 30 – Frustrated Palestinians engaged in wanton destruction of Israeli property and in malicious violence toward Jews cannot ...
Read More »I Still Like My Idea Of Flaming Boomerangs From Gaza More Than Kites
By Fashla Fadikha, Gaza protester May 27 – Call me bitter, but I, for one, cannot bring myself to feel unmitigated joy at the sight of Zionist fields and brush aflame as Palestinian kites bearing Molotov cocktails ignite blazes. For ...
Read More »Trojan Ads Rejected For Side Of Holy Ark Despite Absence Of Women
“It might have just been that at least one of the ads uses images of pigs, which our teachings consider unclean animals,” suggested Er ben-Onan. Wilderness Of Sinai, May 28 – Manufacturers of a latex prophylactic voiced dissatisfaction today upon ...
Read More »NFL Offers Compromise, Lets Players Stand for American OR Israeli Anthem
Player representatives have yet to offer any official response to the move. New York, May 24 – Executives and owners in the National Football League softened their stance today on player behavior during the traditional singing of the Star Spangled ...
Read More »Settlement Construction Halted: Plans Only Reported By NGOs As New 43 Times
Without repeated mention of the same units as if they represent many different ones, the world will remain unable to characterize Israel’s settlement policy as “beholden to far-right settlement zealots.” Beit El, Binyamin Regional Council, May 23 – Housing starts ...
Read More »Reviewers Bash Ramadan TV Series For Lack Of Antisemitism
“It forfeits all verisimilitude when it ignores the defining aspect of Muslim life.” Cairo, May 24 – Viewers across the region anticipate the onset of the monthlong Ramadan observance each year, either for the spiritual development it represents or for the ...
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