He hopes to decide whether to order cabinet officials to remain silent at all times except behind closed official doors, with exceptions only he can authorize. Jerusalem, April 11 – Israel’s Prime Minister has begun considering expanding his order to ...
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Feed SubscriptionOutrage As Video Shows IDF Following Rules, Holding Fire Near Children
“IDF behavior must conform to the brutality standards the NGO community imputes to it, and not adhere to its own ethical code.” Tel Aviv, April 11 – Anger surfaced this week following a short clip of an Israeli military sniper aiming ...
Read More »Man Can’t Decide Whether Congress Controlled By NRA, Oil, Or AIPAC
Do the banks control Congress, or does Big Pharma? Maybe it’s Monsanto? Insurance companies? Sugar? Chicago, April 9 – A radio personality known for his support of progressive politics voiced confusion today over different axiomatic assertions of his world view ...
Read More »NGOs Can’t Hear Dying Syrians Over Sound Of How Awesome Hamas Is
“Chemical weapons? No, that couldn’t be right. Obama and Kerry promised Russia would take care of removing Assad’s stockpile.” New York, April 9 – Human Rights groups and international organizations have difficulty discerning that people in Syria are being slaughtered ...
Read More »Stereotypes Are Bad Unless You’re A Progressive Enforcing Adherence To Them
By Linda Sarsour We all agree stereotypes are horrible, with ethnic stereotypes being the worst of the worst. For that reason, we must always avoid falling into the trap of stereotypes, except when conforming to them becomes a signal of ...
Read More »God Considering Russia, Syria For Genocide Of Palestinians Since Israel So Bad At It
Other countries can still submit applications and documented evidence of their capacity for the kind of ethnic cleansing and mass murder that Israel has only committed in the imaginations of its enemies. Heaven, April 8 – Supernal sources indicated today that the ...
Read More »New Record As Kids Still Using Afikoman Presents On Day 4 Of Passover
The feat bests the previous record forty-eight hours, set in 2008, by a family in Skokie, Illinois. Jerusalem, April 4 – Officials from Guinness World Records confirmed a new mark today upon certifying that the children of a local family are still ...
Read More »Fizzling “March Of Return” Leaves Joint List Short Of Recruitment Goals
“Exactly none of the dead come from a demographic that would join a Zionist, or even Jewish, party, and I think we all know why that is.” Umm el-Fahm, April 3 – Officials from the parties composing the political alliance ...
Read More »Logistical Problems: Only Some Hamas Units Equipped With Human Shields
“What am I supposed to do, send our fighters out to confront enemy soldiers while not violating six or seven laws of armed conflict?” Gaza City, March 28 – Tension gripped the Izzedin al-Qassam Brigades this week in advance of ...
Read More »BDS Advocate Has Already Won Like 6 Arguments In His Head During Shower
Actual humans do not make the same straw-man contentions as his mental interlocutors. New York, March 28 – A college student who spends time haranguing administrators, faculty, and fellow students to support divestment from Israel and boycott of the Israeli ...
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