By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority Ramallah, March 14 – Much of the recent discussion of current affairs in Israeli media over the last week has centered on various squabbles among the parties in the prime minister’s governing coalition, and ...
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Feed SubscriptionHamas Tired Of Having To Pay Facebook To Give Rockets More Reach
Organization spokesman Mahmoud al-Zahar suggested the company founder’s Jewish heritage lies behind the “unfair” practice. Khan Yunis, March 15 – Fighters in missile-launching units of the militant Islamist group that governs the Gaza Strip expressed bitterness today at the need ...
Read More »Russia Trying To Interfere In Haggadah To Make Slavery Seem Fine
Changes made to the text include replacing “We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt” to “We were slaves to capitalist hegemony and the mainstream media.” Moscow, March 15 – Kremlin agents continue to sow discord and to undermine other nations’ ...
Read More »School On Lockdown Amid Reports Of Independent Thought
“We are considering this an Active Heresy situation, and have deployed our personnel accordingly to address this threat.” Ramat Aviv Gimmel, March 14 – Police rushed to a high school in this northern neighborhood of Tel Aviv this morning upon ...
Read More »Trump Excited To Read Salacious Parts Of Stormy Daniels Tell-All Book
“It’s going to be the best memoir, because it’s about m- it’s about the president,” claimed a senior administration official. Washington, March 14 – White House insiders disclosed today that despite maintaining a public façade of indifference, the president cannot ...
Read More »Gabbay Vows To Relocate US Embassy To Tel Aviv
He voiced belief that reversing Trump’s relocation would reestablish the international limbo that his party has always excelled at maintaining. Tel Aviv, March 13 – Labor Party Chairman Avi Gabbay reacted to reports of possible parliamentary elections this year by ...
Read More »Hamas Demands Israel Open Airspace To Missiles From Gaza
An agreement between Riyadh and New Delhi last month opened Saudi skies to Air India craft flying to and from Israel, the first time the Saudis will allow any flight to or from Israel to cross its airspace. Gaza City, ...
Read More »We Make Sure The Number Of Buns And Franks Don’t Match. We’re The Mossad.
By the Mossad Ever wonder why you always seem to have a different number of Tupperware containers from the number of lids? Or why hot dogs come in packages of 12 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? ...
Read More »Mossad Replaces Shipment Of Iran Missile Components With Anal Lube
“It’s certainly poetic, and Mossad have style, so that’s a tight fit,” conceded Pia Tabaat, an analyst at Jane’s. Tehran, March 7 – Officials in Iran’s ballistic missile program discovered today that a vessel carrying illegal cargo intended for the Islamic Republic’s ...
Read More »Rabbi Rules Hogwarts Elves Ineligible To Perform Pre-Passover Cleaning
If an elf were to convert to Judaism, the creature’s status would be unclear. Hogsmeade, March 8 – Jewish students at the world’s most prestigious wizarding school voiced disappointment today upon receiving word that they could not rely on the ...
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