“What did they even eat?” Great Neck, March 21 – A resident of this town on Long Island’s north shore voiced bewilderment today upon discovering that the kosher-for-Passover versions of popular breakfast cereals were unavailable in ancient Israel, medieval Europe, eighteenth-century ...
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“The passenger apparently subjected the vehicle to one or two more iterations of ‘Copacabana’ than any being can handle.” Maale Adummim, March 21 – An automated vehicle destroyed itself and its human cargo this morning by careening through a roadside ...
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“The entire institution of sanctions on Iran is a Jewish conspiracy. The best way to combat the machinations of the secret Jewish cabal is to hide away any evidence they might be able to exploit.” London, March 20 – Prominent ...
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Operatives arranged for votes from Palestinian-controlled areas, where they are not being used, to be smuggled into Israel. Jerusalem, March 19 – A volunteer with the consulate of France in Israel’s capital was arrested today and charged with smuggling votes ...
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“Otherwise it means we’re totally ignored, unimportant, and who could accept the shame?” Ramallah, March 13 – Residents of refugee camps and areas under Palestinian self-rule voiced resignation today at being manipulated and having their plight co-opted by cynical international ...
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By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority Ramallah, March 14 – Much of the recent discussion of current affairs in Israeli media over the last week has centered on various squabbles among the parties in the prime minister’s governing coalition, and ...
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Organization spokesman Mahmoud al-Zahar suggested the company founder’s Jewish heritage lies behind the “unfair” practice. Khan Yunis, March 15 – Fighters in missile-launching units of the militant Islamist group that governs the Gaza Strip expressed bitterness today at the need ...
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Changes made to the text include replacing “We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt” to “We were slaves to capitalist hegemony and the mainstream media.” Moscow, March 15 – Kremlin agents continue to sow discord and to undermine other nations’ ...
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“We are considering this an Active Heresy situation, and have deployed our personnel accordingly to address this threat.” Ramat Aviv Gimmel, March 14 – Police rushed to a high school in this northern neighborhood of Tel Aviv this morning upon ...
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“It’s going to be the best memoir, because it’s about m- it’s about the president,” claimed a senior administration official. Washington, March 14 – White House insiders disclosed today that despite maintaining a public façade of indifference, the president cannot ...
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