It continued with a litany of other grievances, notable among them the apparent deafness of GOD to centuries of complaints. Holon, February 6 – A trade group representing buyers of female reproductive partners has accused the manufacturer of designing the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionSeeing Movement Backfire, Israel Prosper, Other Countries Demand BDS Target Them Too
If one were to construct an investment portfolio only of firms BDS dislikes, such a portfolio would outperform index funds by a significant margin. London, February 5 – Economists and financial experts are advising governments to be targeted by the ...
Read More »Female MKs Challenge Oren Hazan To Penis-Measuring Contest
“He better not blow this.” Jerusalem, January 30 – Women legislators from across the political spectrum voiced their frustration today with a colleague whose antics they contend shames the parliament, and dared him to measure his dong against theirs, with ...
Read More »UN Agency To Keep Migrants Deported From Israel Stateless Till They Can Return
“I am confident we can count on Jordan, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, and other Arab states to provide hospitality for untold generations of this new population of refugees.” Geneva, January 31 – Officials at the United Nations Relief and Works Agency ...
Read More »Palestinians Declare Day Of Rage, But Date Already Taken By Previous Day Of Rage
“There’s a quota,” noted Nabil Shaath. “We’re supposed to have a certain minimum number of Days of Rage in every reporting period.” Ramallah, February 1 – Officials in the Palestinian Authority confessed embarrassment today upon realizing that after they had ...
Read More »I Don’t Care How Many Lebanese Die ‘For Palestine’
By Hassan Nasrallah, Secretary-General, Hezbollah Liberation of the Islamic land of Palestine from the infidel Zionists remains the sacred duty of all Muslims, regardless of local nationality. That is why it ultimately does not matter how many Lebanese must die ...
Read More »Anti-Religion Activist Finds Way To Paint Tu Bishvat Nature-Celebration As Anti-Nature
He has for years sought to develop a thesis that would allow him to dismiss or taint the source so as not to be forced to acknowledge a positive role for something with a religious pedigree. Tel Aviv, January 31 ...
Read More »Jonah Forced To Buy Whole Damn Boat Because Jaffa Port Workers On Strike Again
“If you ask me, there’s something fishy going on there.” Jaffa, January 31 – A prophet trying to escape his mission had no choice but to purchase an entire vessel when a labor stoppage by union workers delayed the departure ...
Read More »UK Parliament Outlaws ‘Military Wing’ Of Mafia, OKs ‘Political Wing’
Lawmakers reported they had been contacted by political operatives of the organizations in question, who had urged them to vote in favor of passage if they knew what was good for them. London, January 30 – Britain’s legislature approved new ...
Read More »Upcoming Netanyahu Speech To Polish Parliament Just The Words “Polish Death Camps” Over And Over
Employing his diplomatic immunity, Netanyahu will repeat the taboo phrase for the duration of his speech. Jerusalem, January 29 – Sources within the Prime Minister’s Office reported today that Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu will deliver an address to the Polish legislature later ...
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