“We support our party’s campaign and the media’s whipping up anger at the guy, but let’s remember it’s all just politics.” Mobile, Alabama, November 15 – As revelations of former Alabama State Supreme Court Judge Roy Moore’s sexual pursuit of minors ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionRabbi: Promiscuity, Homosexuality Cause Earthquakes Not To Destroy Knesset
“A truly God-fearing society would see the petty, manipulative, egotistic, narcissistic, greedy blowhards of the Knesset crushed into the ground.” Jerusalem, November 14 – Following the announcement by a prominent Iranian cleric that the deadly earthquake there on Sunday morning ...
Read More »Right-Wingers Are Meddling In Elections By Getting People To Vote For Them!
By Mossi Raz, Chairman, Meretz Listen up, people. We’ve got our work cut out for us if we’re going to increase our representation in the next Knesset. You can glory all you want in the manifest rightness of our politics, ...
Read More »Hezbollah Stockpiling Advanced Thoughts And Prayers To Use Against Israel
“Thoughts and prayers are the most common countermeasures to bullets, explosives, or automotive impact.” Beirut, November 9 – Observers of Middle East arms movements have noticed an ongoing effort by the Shiite militia Hezbollah in Lebanon to augment its arsenal ...
Read More »Bakery Waits Week After Sukkot To Make Sufganiyot, Loses Kosher Status
“This delay is unacceptable,” stated Rabbi Amok Tiegen. Jerusalem, November 7 – A confectionery and baked goods establishment in the nation’s capital has been forced to forfeit certification that its products conform to Jewish dietary practice, after inspectors from the ...
Read More »Syrian Refugees Demand Eternal Limbo Like UNRWA Gives Palestinians
“Hey, that’s not fair,” objected Muhammad Chalabi, 45, a father of six originally from a Damascus suburb. “I don’t want to rebuild my life.” Near the border with southern Syria, Jordan, November 9 – Former residents of Syria who fled ...
Read More »Israeli Doctor Hasn’t Been Asked To Harvest A Single Syrian Patient’s Organs
“I could swear this is supposed to be part of my job – I read it in those Algerian and Libyan journals, and in all that literature from Palestinian human rights NGOs.” Safed, November 9 – A surgeon at Israel’s ...
Read More »Sarsour Launches #MeNeither Campaign After Racist Israeli Refuses To Grope Her
Within minutes, a dozen responses to the original post had come in. New York, November 8 – Brooklyn-based women’s and Muslims’ rights advocate Linda Sarsour accused Israel of racism today after an Israeli on the subway had the opportunity to ...
Read More »Gov’t Project To Build Toilet For Flushing Away Money Goes Way Over Budget
“This kind of overflow in spending obviously requires attention, but it would be unwise to assume it can be sustained over the long term.” Jerusalem, November 8 – Ministry of Finance auditors have found that an initiative to construct a ...
Read More »Tempted By Your Offer To Lead Labour, Mr. Corbyn, But Hamas Needs Me
By Ismail Haniyeh Dear Mr. Corbyn: I am in receipt of your communiqué from Wednesday last, in which you made the generous proposal to form a partnership with you in shepherding the UK Labour Party toward victory in future elections. ...
Read More »