A smirking IDF spokesman denied knowledge of the phenomenon. Ramallah, December 14 – Palestinian public health officials reported today that an unusual spike in the number of adolescent and young adult males seeking treatment for unusually persistent erections over the last ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionI Could Establish A Palestinian State, But Then What Would I Do? Govern?
By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority; Chairman, Palestine Liberation Organization All those well-meaning diplomats and politicians urging Palestinians to make peace with Israel, or at least sit down to negotiations, miss one crucial point: without perpetuation of the conflict, I ...
Read More »Muscular Man Resents Being Pigeonholed As Hagbahah-Only Guy
“I’m getting a little sick of it.” Jerusalem, December 13 – An athletic, toned worshiper at a local synagogue has grown tired of his default role as the one who raises the open Torah scroll to show congregants the reading, ...
Read More »Media Settle On 35:1 Ratio For Stories On Palestinians Vs. Israelis As Victims
Some members of the FPA worried that they might not be able to adhere to the 35:1 guideline. Jerusalem, December 13 – Several weeks of deliberation among bureau chiefs of foreign media organizations have resulted in a joint decision to ...
Read More »Swedish Court: Firebombing Synagogues Is Protected Speech
Jewish advocates voiced frustration at the judge’s ruling. Gothenburg, December 12 – A magistrate in this Scandinavian city has ruled that the perpetrators of two Molotov cocktail attacks against Jewish houses of worship in the last three days may not be prosecuted under criminal ...
Read More »Joint List Misses Deadline To Renew Status As Fifth Column
The List will not be permitted to avail itself of Fifth Column privileges for the next two years, but will be eligible to reapply at the end of 2019. Jerusalem, December 11 – The alliance of four mostly-Arab parties in Israel’s parliament ...
Read More »After Slamming ‘Judaizing’ Of Jerusalem, EU Decries ‘Turkification’ Of Turkey
The court found that Turkic peoples invaded Anatolia and that they are not native to the region. Brussels, December 6 – European leaders followed up their negative reaction to American recognition of Israel as Jerusalem’s capital Wednesday by addressing another ...
Read More »Arabs Threaten Violence If Westerners Don’t Stop Stereotyping Arabs As Violent
“How do you get from the default Arab reaction to setbacks being violence to the idea that you can only expect Arabs to react with violence when they don’t get their way?” Jerusalem, December 6 – Arab threats of violence ...
Read More »This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: We Arabs Keep Killing Those Who Tell Us Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
By An Arab Who Doesn’t Want To Get Killed For Saying This Why do we Arabs keep shooting ourselves in the foot? Is it pathological? Why does nothing we achieve have any lasting value? I don’t know about you, but ...
Read More »In Palestinian Jihadi Hell, Terrorists Forced To Hear Rival Groups Boast
The most common combination is Fatah-Hamas. The Underworld, December 7 – Eternal punishment for Palestinians who devoted themselves to political violence involves sitting and listening to the bragging claims of other, competing militants, a spokesman for the Afterlife revealed in ...
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