By Jacob Simeon and Levi, I’ve just about had enough from the two of you. One more murderous, plundering outburst like that and I’m going to turn this whole caravan right around and go back to Padan Aram. I mean ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIranian Engineers Propose Using Cranes For Construction As Well As Hanging Gays
“Next you’re going to tell me a school has a function other than storing weapons to use against Jews.” Tehran, November 22 – Technical specialists in Iran’s capital sent a ripple through the country’s construction industry Tuesday morning with the ...
Read More »Renewable Energy Orgs Hail Pact To Heat Russian Homes With Palestinian Hot Air
Palestinians have rendered hot air effectively inexhaustible. Moscow, November 22 – Environmental groups welcomed the announcement today of an agreement between Russia and the Palestinian Authority to provide the former with a large supply of hot air with which to ...
Read More »‘Breaking The Silence’ Spokesman Confesses To Kennedy Assassination
“They will tell you I couldn’t have done it because I wasn’t born for many years when the president was killed, but basic arithmetic is part of the conspiracy of silence.” Tel Aviv, November 23 – Developments in the ongoing drama of ...
Read More »Uproar As Campus Rabbi Permits Use Of Footwear Other Than Ugg Boots
“Someone has to tell this so-called spiritual leader that he can’t just undo tradition with a wave of his hand.” Baltimore, November 23 – Female students at Johns Hopkins University staged a protest today at what they termed the permissive ...
Read More »New Guide Details How Every Food Shows Israel Either Appropriating Or Hatefully Rejecting Palestinian Culture
The guide will soon be released as an app for mobile devices. Tel Aviv, November 22 – Activists combating what they call Israeli appropriation of indigenous Palestinian culture have published a culinary guide that will help users determine whether by ...
Read More »Dalia Rabin Says Clinton Groped Her Father At Oslo Signing
Rumors have swirled for years that Clinton made a similar crude move on Arafat. Tel Aviv, November 22 – The daughter of Israel’s slain Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin added today to the furor surrounding allegations of sexual misconduct by former ...
Read More »Peace Now Slams Joshua, David, For Promoting Settlement Beyond Green Line
“Joshua and David should have consulted us before they waged their short-sighted campaigns.” Tel Aviv, November 21 – Activists in the country’s leading organization promoting removal of Jewish communities from areas Palestinians claim for a future state are leveling criticism ...
Read More »I Don’t Actually Maintain My Own Naughty/Nice List – The Mossad Does
By Santa Claus North Pole, November 19 – Just before I get absorbed in the busiest part of our annual operation, I think it important to clear up a common misconception: the categorization of people into worthy or unworthy of ...
Read More »Facts That Support Israel’s Version Of Events Should Not Be Dismissed As ‘Israel Claims,’ Israel Claims
Palestinian observers who Israel claims were not present at the meeting characterized it as yet another example of Israeli perfidy. Tel Aviv, November 19 – Media reportage that presents the details of incidents in which Israel’s description matches observable reality ...
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