“The Zionist cowards soil themselves in fright at our military prowess,” boasted Nasrallah, who hides behind multiple layers of security and keeps his schedule secret to prevent attempts on his life. Beirut, September 4 – The leader of an Iran-backed militia that ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionZoabi: Arrests Of Palestinian Stabbers ‘Stifling Their Freedom Of Expression’
“Perhaps somebody should remind them what freedom of expression entails, maybe by firing rockets at them from the Gaza Strip.” Umm el-Fahm, September 3 – A firebrand Arab-Israeli parliamentarian has waded into controversy again, remarking Sunday that when Israeli security ...
Read More »Activists Struggling To Call Attention To Atrocities Not Committed By Jews
The body count in Yemen and Saudi Arabia is much higher than all the violence in Gaza over the years put together, and the physical destruction more extensive. Aden, Yemen, September 3 – The proxy war raging on the southern end ...
Read More »Local Man Ties Sense Of Identity, Worth, To Fortunes Of Strangers Kicking Ball Around Field
“It’s a harmless little obsession that only occasionally drives us to the brink of bankruptcy, causes us to miss family events, and damages his relationship with other people.” Jerusalem, August 30 – Ohr Mizrahi, 40, has all but fused his ...
Read More »Palestinians: Trump Not Serious About Alt-Right Till He Offers Them Lifetime Pensions For Killing Blacks
“You can call us back when he begins budgeting thousands of dollars per month for each killer of a black person or immigrant, with the number of victims compounding the payment accordingly.” Charlottesville, August 30 – Officials in the Palestinian ...
Read More »Hebron Hittites First Try To Sell Abraham Timeshare In Burial Cave
“Ephron was really giving him the hard sell,” recalled a witness. Kiryat Arba, Canaan, August 31 – Negotiations over Abraham’s purchase of a burial site for his wife concluded this morning, but witnesses reported this afternoon that at first, sellers ...
Read More »It’s Been Jihad Day’s Night
Lyrics: Jenin-McCartney It’s been Jihad day’s night And I’ve been hurting kikes and dogs It’s been Jihad day’s night I hear them weeping, sons of hogs But with that heavenly crew Of virgins seventy-two I’m a Shaheed, all right. ...
Read More »Israeli Intelligence Snags KFC’s Secret Blend Of 11 Herbs And Spices
Sources at the agency declined to discuss how they intend to use the secret information. Tel Aviv, August 30 – Israel’s secret intelligence service scored another operational coup last month, agents can finally reveal, when they got their hands on ...
Read More »Analysts Fear Netanyahu Corruption Probe Will Distract From Other Netanyahu Corruption Probes
Frustration over the diluted effect of multiple corruption probes of Netanyahu has had the counterintuitive effect of protests to demand more investigative activity. Jerusalem, August 30 – Analysts and political activists voiced concerns today that reports of an investigation into conflict-of-interest and ...
Read More »Arab Media Vow Better Balance Of Vermin In Descriptions Of Jews
“We apologize to our viewers and readers for the insensitivity displayed to date in our reporting and analysis vis-à-vis the depiction of Jews as scum-sucking vermin.” Doha, August 29 – Responding to concerns of viewers and activists over discrimination, Al ...
Read More »