“If previous UNGA performances provide any indication, Mr. Abbas will give other candidates a run for their money.” New York, September 19 – The Palestinian President’s tour-de-force acting performance in the role of a responsible, honorable human being and national political ...
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Feed SubscriptionCommunity In Uproar Over Discovery That ‘Tashlich’ Not About Feeding Ducks, Fish
“This is an outrage,” wrote one prominent community member on Facebook. West Hempstead, NY, September 18 – Hundreds of Jews will gather this coming Thursday afternoon at Hall’s Pond for an annual Rosh Hashanah ritual that demonstrates a desire to ...
Read More »Please Stop Blaming Jews For The Things We Supervillains Do
By Lex Luthor If there’s one thing a supervillain wants, it’s publicity. The whole thing with the logo, the hairdo, the costume, the sinister name – it’s all to generate hype. Fear, of course, and respect, but sustained public attention ...
Read More »Prisons To Pipe Bad Covers Of Inmates’ Favorite Songs Into Cells
The practice has broken numerous prisoners, assisting the security forces in foiling impending terror attacks and helping maintain discipline within the prisons. Megiddo Prison, September 17 – Military and civilian incarceration facilities are set to expand a pilot program that ...
Read More »11-Year-Old Boy Volunteers To Mow Knesset’s Concrete Plaza
The plaza, which covers the area between the security gates and the entrance to the parliament building itself, features no plant life. Jerusalem, September 17 – Inspired by the civic spirit of an American preteen who volunteered to cut the ...
Read More »With Jewish Population Gone, Syria Boasts 0 Antisemitic Incidents
The Syrian approach is scalable to the entire region. Damascus, September 13 – Officials of President Basher Assad’s regime boasted today that prejudice-monitoring agencies in the country had recorded no verbal or physical assaults against Jews in the last 12 ...
Read More »Education Ministry Replaces Academic Grades With Racism Scale
“The question is not whether we will meet the specific criteria of rolling out the grading reform by a target date, but how inclusive are we?” Jerusalem, September 13 – In an effort to keep Israeli educational practices on pace ...
Read More »Porn Actors In Clip Liked By Cruz Account Now Feel Dirty
The actors have described it as the most degrading experience of their lives. Los Angeles, September 14 – The cast of the hardcore sex scene that came to prominence yesterday after Senator Ted Cruz’s Twitter account “liked” has finally experienced ...
Read More »Rabbis Debate: On All-Women Bus, Must Women Sit In Back?
Must a bus hired to transport a group of women be treated in the same manner as a bus that serves a mixed population, or does the vehicle’s status vary with the composition of its passengers? Bet Shemesh, September 14 ...
Read More »At Suicide Bomber Hut, We Don’t Get Much Repeat Business
By Aiselyu Siffor, proprietor I’ve been in the suicide bomb sales business for years. Business has been, well, booming, and I’ve certainly done well for myself in this line of work, but despite attracting tons of new customers all the time, ...
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