It’s the Jews pursuing success and prosperity only to make Palestinians, and Arabs in general, look like backward barbarians by comparison. Damascus, July 19 – Just a few dozen kilometers to the southwest of the Syrian capital, Israeli soldiers have ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionArab Hope Of Defeating Israel Just A Mossad Plot To Keep Them Distracted
It turns on the axiom that Muslims and Arabs cannot be blamed for their misfortune. Gaza City, July 19 – Sources within the intelligence community have uncovered evidence that prolonged Arab opposition to the Israel under the misapprehension that it ...
Read More »If You Ethnically Cleanse An Area Of Jews They’e Not Allowed Back In
By An Expert On International Law Whose Conclusions Suit Your Sensibilities It should not be difficult to arrive at a simple understanding of the status in international law of the territories Israel took in the 1967 war. All one needs to ...
Read More »Toddlers Declare Day Of Rage Over Suspension Of Free Access To Snacks
“NONONONONONONONOOOOOOO,” explained a spokestoddler. Hod HaSharon, July 20 – A group of two-year-olds at a local day care center have registered their objections to the removal of unlimited junk food by announcing that tomorrow they will hold a “day of ...
Read More »Taking Hamas’s Lead, NYC Subway To Use Child Slave Labor For Tunnel Maintenance
“Look at what Hamas has done, with only a fraction of our budget.” New York, July 19 – The Metropolitan Transportation Authority of New York will begin drafting children to conduct expensive infrastructure work, following the example set by the ...
Read More »Allah So Damn Akbar He Can’t Defend His Third-Holiest Site From Lowly Jews
Jews have maintained a security presence in and around the compound for fifty years, a disgrace to Islam so intense that it calls into question the notion that Allah is, in fact, as akbar as His worshipers proclaim. Jerusalem, July ...
Read More »NY Times, Meretz In Content-Sharing Agreement
“Technically, it would be more democratic if we focused on Israelis, but politics is the art of compromise,” acknowledged MK Ilan Gilon. Tel Aviv, July 18 – A leading news and opinion powerhouse has joined forces with like-minded figures on ...
Read More »Ostensible Metal Detectors At Temple Mount Actually Detect Muslim Inferiority Complex
“The Waqf can’t claim to be in control of Islam’s ‘third-holiest site’ if Israel can impose such procedures without their consent.” Jerusalem, July 17 – Islamic authorities at the sacred compound containing the Al Aqsa Mosque and the Dome of ...
Read More »500,000 Killed In Party Mishap As Iran Unwraps Gift Of Entire Mideast From Obama
Precise casualty figures on the giftwrap-related disaster are hard to come by, but estimates range from just under 300,000 dead to more than 500,000. Homs, Syria, July 17 – Half a million people were killed across the region this decade ...
Read More »But If I Take A Truly Moral Position I Betray My Constituency!
By MK Ahmad Tibi It is dishonest of those on the political right to demand that we Arab Members of Knesset denounce the murder of two policemen this past Friday. Our voters elected us for a reason, and showing sympathy ...
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