The vast majority of the world’s approximately 15 million Jews now refrain from Torah study all year long. Jerusalem, August 1 – The mourning practices associated with the saddest day on the Jewish calendar include a prohibition against studying all ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionSocialist Parties Ask Journalists Not To Report On Venezuela Unrest
Coverage of such developments might give the public the wrong idea about what happens when a government administers the economy and drives it into the ground. Jerusalem, July 31 – Figures across the left part of Israel’s political spectrum seek ...
Read More »ISIS To Disrupt Air Travel By Placing Israelis On Planes
“I never knew what a person could do when provoked by the absence of a chocolate confection where there should have been one.” Canberra, Australia, July 31 – Aviation and law enforcement officials are warning of an Islamist plot against ...
Read More »Arab Regimes Face Rising Mossad Prices For Generating Distractions From Oppression
“The Temple Mount crisis was relatively small potatoes, but still expensive to engineer,” confessed a Jordanian official. Tel Aviv, July 30 – Rulers of Arab and Muslim states in the Middle East and beyond voiced frustration today at the increasing ...
Read More »Speak At Your University? But I Haven’t Killed Any Jews Or Cops
By Radi Qal, Activist Dear Sirs/Mesdames: I have received your letter inviting me to speak at your institution. Thank you. I feel honored to be considered for such an event. But before I give my formal response, I seek to ...
Read More »Woman Denied Job As Clinic Receptionist Over Lack Of Press-On Nails
During the interview, alleged Rahamim, the supervisor of the unit kept looking at the candidate’s hands in a way that suggested something was amiss. Jerusalem, July 26 – A candidate for a position as a clerk at a Meuhedet Sick ...
Read More »Muslims Demand Dumbledore Remove Anti-Intruder Jinxes At Hogwarts
“This does not bode well, not at all,” moaned a thin professor with flowing robes. Hogsmeade, July 26 – Flush with a sense of power and purpose after extracting concessions elsewhere, Muslims issued new demands today that the headmaster of ...
Read More »Returning To Temple Mount, Waqf Hopes To Make Up For Lost Sports, Dancing At Holy Site
The group acknowledges the need now to compensate for the races, day camp activities, gymnastics displays, and other sacred rituals that were not performed on the Temple Mount during that period. Jerusalem, July 27 – Religious officials at Islam’s third-holiest ...
Read More »Bibi Hizkiyahu Sends Temple Treasure To Assyrians, Who Definitely Won’t Make More Demands
“This was a bold, decisive move,” insisted Yuval Shebnitz, an official closely allied with King Bibi. Jerusalem, July 27 – King Bibi Hizkiyahu of Judah emptied the treasury of Solomon’s Temple and sent them as tribute to the advancing King ...
Read More »IDF Use Of Only ‘White’ Phosphorus Prompts Charges Of Racism
“We should not be to surprised, given what this organization has previously documented about Israel.” Oslo, July 26 – Human rights activists monitoring Israeli military actions are calling the Jewish State’s deployment of white phosphorus during conflicts in Lebanon and ...
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