Syria falls apart, Israel’s biggest existential enemy gains a foothold across the border, and now those people fall silent? Majdal Shams, Golan Heights, June 19 – This town abutting the border with Syria once brimmed with agitation for a return ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionPalestinians Angry Israel Put Password On Wifi
Palestinian officials compared the need to pay for their own WiFi signal to the plight of Russians in besieged Leningrad during WWII. Ramallah, June 18 – Palestinians accustomed to receiving free benefits protested today at Israel’s decision to secure its ...
Read More »I Take It All Back. I Am So, So Sorry. by Muhammad The Prophet
I should have foreseen how my system in the inevitable wrong hands would produce such horrors. It’s been more than a thousand years since my followers swept across the Middle East and North Africa, even into Europe, and down into ...
Read More »Tel Aviv Man Couldn’t Tell Pride Parade Any Different From Normal Day
Signs that made retroactive sense included disruptions of traffic, which Pitsek said he had not noticed because Tel Aviv is already a traffic nightmare. Tel Aviv, June 14 – A resident of Israel’s second-largest city admitted surprise today after being ...
Read More »Talmud Scholars Look To Hate Groups For Passages They Didn’t Know Existed
“I’m curious, and eager to examine those passages in the original Aramaic,” admitted Dina de Garmi of the University of Bologna, Italy. New York, June 14 – Experts in the body of Jewish law and lore called the Talmud voiced ...
Read More »Repenthouse: The Magazine For Porn-Again Christians
“Finding the sweet spot for our product can spread things wide open for us in other arenas.” New York, June 15 – Condé-Nasty Publications announced today that starting next month it will begin selling a magazine aimed at the growing demographic ...
Read More »At Haredi Tech School, All Courses Are How To Photoshop Out Women
“There’s a tremendous market for such a skill.” Jerusalem, June 15 – An oversight group tasked with reviewing the activities of government-funded training enterprises to assist Haredim in acquiring job skills for better integration into the working world and wider ...
Read More »Study: Violent Thugs Only Definitive Of Other Side’s Ethos
“The data are clear on this,” asserted Straw Mann, lead author of the study. Tel Aviv, June 14 – Groundbreaking new research has confirmed a longstanding hypothesis according to which the violence committed by people or entities allied with your ...
Read More »IDF Introduces Pork-Tipped Bullets To Use Against Muslim Enemies
Supply of the pork is expected come from the herds of wild boars that have lived in the area since ancient times. Ramat HaSharon, June 14 – Engineers at Israel’s government-owned arms enterprise have developed projectiles with pieces of pig ...
Read More »10s Of Thousands Of Palestinians Bravely Defy BDS To Work In Israel
It remains unclear what manner of sanctions BDS might call for against these flagrant violations of its aims. Hizmeh Post, June 13 – Cars and buses from Palestinian-administered territories line up at this security checkpoint northeast of Jerusalem each morning ...
Read More »