What you want to do is attract the closet antisemites and give them enough plausible deniability. Jack, this is just amateurish. No one goes for old-fashioned antisemitism anymore. It’s one thing to couch your Jew-hatred in terms of Zionism; we ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionLatest Haaretz Conference Manages To Weed Out Presenters Shoving Objects Up Rectum
The conference was nevertheless marred by a woman in the audience greeting Minister of Education Naftali Bennett with a Nazi salute. Tel Aviv, June 12 – A “Peace Conference” convened by one of Israel’s most venerable dailies succeeded in avoiding ...
Read More »Study: White Supremacism Behind Every Last Aspect Of Western Culture
The team looked at soccer hooliganism, microbreweries, film, the Scientific Method, paid vacations, fidget spinners, internet memes, museums… Berkeley, June 12 – New research by a team of anthropologists and historians has determined that not a single element of Western ...
Read More »Devout Crustian Awaits Second Crumbing
Her Pontius Pie Plate has become popular. Patty Kaik is in many ways your typical Crustian: flaky with a passion for cheeses. But her devotion to the cause makes even many of her peers sit up and take notice. Ms. ...
Read More »Party’s Push For New Code Of Ethics Violates Existing Code Of Ethics
“Adherence to procedure is a cornerstone of democratic institutions and societies, which means we cannot simply disregard the traditional ban on codes of ethics.” Ramat Gan, June 11 – The Jewish Home Party kicked off efforts over the weekend to ...
Read More »4 Million Injured In Hand-Wringing Over 50 Years Since 6-Day War
Medical facilities in New York, Berkeley, London, Paris, and other strongholds of anti-Israel feeling in the West have experienced an marked increase in outpatient demand. New York, June 8 – Hospitals around the world reported an influx of emergency room ...
Read More »Moderate Cannibals Feeling Pressure To Disavow Extremists
“In fact we deny that what those monsters are doing is cannibalism at all.” Beirut, June 7 – Community leaders among those who consume human flesh in a moderate fashion complain that they are being unfairly targeted by critics of ...
Read More »No, You May Not Show Intolerance During Tolerance Class
Leaving Marcia alone means you accept her being different from you, even though she never takes a bath. We call that part of pluralism “tolerance.” Hello, everyone. Settle down, please. Today we’re going to talk about pluralism. Pluralism means wanting ...
Read More »Scientists Confirm If You Give Mouse Cookie, Will Ask For Milk
The experiment outcome closely matches that posited by researchers Laura Joffe Numeroff and Felicia Bond in a 1985 paper. Rehovot, June 8 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have managed to confirm a longstanding hypothesis regarding murine behavior, first ...
Read More »Kerry: If Iran Already Had Nuke, Could Have Ended Tehran Hostage Crisis Sooner
“We can only wonder how casualty numbers would be different had the authorities in Tehran been able to strike with nuclear technology.” Washington, June 7 – Former Secretary of State John Kerry lamented this morning that the Islamic Republic of ...
Read More »