“Leftovers. We’ll take leftovers. Your mom’s fruitcake. Lutefisk, whatever the hell that is. Please. Can you catch our amazing new missile and send it back with that stuff?” Pyongyang, July 4 – The government of the Democratic People’s Republic of ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionTel Aviv Schools To Drop Hebrew; Biblical Language Too Religious
Activists expressed satisfaction that their concerns are being addressed. Tel Aviv, July 3 – Ongoing debate over the role and presence of religious content in the secular education system intensified over the last two weeks, leading the Tel Aviv Municipality ...
Read More »Ministry Of Health Announces Recall Of Labor Primary
“None of the credible candidates offer the promise of eliminating or mitigating this threat to public health,” elaborated Aryush Itinmi. Jerusalem, July 3 – Public Health officials in Israel announced today they are recalling the latest batch of Labor Party ...
Read More »Hezbollah Now Boasts Experience Destroying TWO Arab Countries
The last five years in Syria have shown the depth and intensity of the movement’s dedication to bringing such destruction to other Arab countries. Tel Aviv, July 2 – Analysts at Israel’s Ministry of Defense have been focusing on the ...
Read More »Something Important Apparently Happening In Qatar
“It looks like there are reports of stuff happening, or about to happen, or that might happen if something doesn’t change.” Doha, July 2 – Some significant developments are going on in the Persian Gulf nation of Qatar, according to ...
Read More »How Dare You Call My Bigotry Of Low Expectations ‘Soft’
By SJW McWoke If mathematics were not such a patriarchal system, I would feel comfortable about counting the number of times we progressives have been accused of “soft” bigotry by not demanding that all peoples adhere to the same standards ...
Read More »Palestinian Teachers Fear Students’ Murderous Hate For Jews Will Atrophy Over Summer
For veteran Palestinian educators, the feelings are all too familiar. Jenin, June 28 – Educators in the Palestinian Authority school system and in the parallel institutions run by the United nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees voiced concern ...
Read More »Ecological Progressives Conflicted: Crude Oil Ban Would Disproportionately Affect Muslim-Majority Countries
It boils down to Muslims as victims being the ultimate axiom, and therefore Muslims retaining ultimate veto over everything lest it offend or oppress them further. Berkeley, June 29 – Proponents of a progressive environmental agenda face internal contradictions within ...
Read More »Progressive Jews Enraged At Kotel Decision, Might Write Strongly-Worded Letter
“We demand that the prime minister reverse his shameful kowtowing to the ultra-orthodox, and kowtow to us instead.” New York, June 29 – Representatives of the liberal streams of Judaism in the US and Israel expressed intense anger this week ...
Read More »Knesset Cafeteria Found Infested By Politicians
“We cannot risk people being exposed to those vile creatures.” Jerusalem, June 28 – Health inspectors visiting Israel’s legislative compound have closed the site’s dining facility after discovering the space teeming with politicans. The room is expected to remain closed ...
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