PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Abbas’s term officially ended more than seven years ago, and the parliamentarians should have been out of office six years ago. Moscow, June 22 – President Vladimir Putin of Russia has put on hold a series of operations aimed at ...

By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority So you know how I’ve been ordering my underlings to shut down media that challenge my policies or legitimacy, and have imprisoned journalists for exposing the corruption, incompetence, and stupidity of my administration? Well, ...

Fears that it would see humans as a threat in the manner depicted the Terminator series thus proved baseless. Rehovot, June 21 – Developers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have succeeded in constructing a sentient computer, they announced today, ...

Incidence of callus-inducing Muslim-anus-licking by Europeans had held steady since the the First World War. Fez, June 21 – Medical officials in the Arab and Muslim world are reporting increased incidences of inflamed or callused epithelial tissue around the anal ...

“The earth opening up and swallowing might violate international law,” asserted Ken ben-Roth of Arab Rights Watch. Wilderness of Zin, June 20 – The rebellion of a tribal chieftain among the Israelites resulted in the ground devouring him, his sons, ...

“What does he think he is, some objective personality?” Jerusalem, June 19 – Lawmakers from several Opposition parties in the Knesset voiced anger today at the Attorney General for not opening an inquiry into Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu over possible ...

Syria falls apart, Israel’s biggest existential enemy gains a foothold across the border, and now those people fall silent? Majdal Shams, Golan Heights, June 19 – This town abutting the border with Syria once brimmed with agitation for a return ...

Palestinian officials compared the need to pay for their own WiFi signal to the plight of Russians in besieged Leningrad during WWII. Ramallah, June 18 – Palestinians accustomed to receiving free benefits protested today at Israel’s decision to secure its ...

I should have foreseen how my system in the inevitable wrong hands would produce such horrors. It’s been more than a thousand years since my followers swept across the Middle East and North Africa, even into Europe, and down into ...

Signs that made retroactive sense included disruptions of traffic, which Pitsek said he had not noticed because Tel Aviv is already a traffic nightmare. Tel Aviv, June 14 – A resident of Israel’s second-largest city admitted surprise today after being ...