“Adherence to procedure is a cornerstone of democratic institutions and societies, which means we cannot simply disregard the traditional ban on codes of ethics.” Ramat Gan, June 11 – The Jewish Home Party kicked off efforts over the weekend to ...
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Feed Subscription4 Million Injured In Hand-Wringing Over 50 Years Since 6-Day War
Medical facilities in New York, Berkeley, London, Paris, and other strongholds of anti-Israel feeling in the West have experienced an marked increase in outpatient demand. New York, June 8 – Hospitals around the world reported an influx of emergency room ...
Read More »Moderate Cannibals Feeling Pressure To Disavow Extremists
“In fact we deny that what those monsters are doing is cannibalism at all.” Beirut, June 7 – Community leaders among those who consume human flesh in a moderate fashion complain that they are being unfairly targeted by critics of ...
Read More »No, You May Not Show Intolerance During Tolerance Class
Leaving Marcia alone means you accept her being different from you, even though she never takes a bath. We call that part of pluralism “tolerance.” Hello, everyone. Settle down, please. Today we’re going to talk about pluralism. Pluralism means wanting ...
Read More »Scientists Confirm If You Give Mouse Cookie, Will Ask For Milk
The experiment outcome closely matches that posited by researchers Laura Joffe Numeroff and Felicia Bond in a 1985 paper. Rehovot, June 8 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have managed to confirm a longstanding hypothesis regarding murine behavior, first ...
Read More »Kerry: If Iran Already Had Nuke, Could Have Ended Tehran Hostage Crisis Sooner
“We can only wonder how casualty numbers would be different had the authorities in Tehran been able to strike with nuclear technology.” Washington, June 7 – Former Secretary of State John Kerry lamented this morning that the Islamic Republic of ...
Read More »Westboro Baptist Church Starts Picketing Self; ‘Bunch of Hateful Fags’
“If the influence of those forces is as invidious as Westboro claims, then perforce Westboro is not immune to them.” Topeka, June 2 – In keeping with its tradition of seeing the influence of homosexuality everywhere, the Westboro Baptist Church ...
Read More »Israeli Labor Party To Choose Its Next Irrelevant Leader
The party leadership has continued to conduct itself as if Labor’s positions still matter on a national level. Jerusalem, June 6 – Polling stations across Israel will open in several weeks for the Labor Party primaries, in which the party membership ...
Read More »Media Gearing Up To Describe Iran Nuke As ‘Crude, Homemade’ If Used On Israel
“Technically, since Iran is trying to develop the nuclear weapons and delivery technology domestically, we can use the word ‘homemade.'” Gaza City, June 5 – Journalists and editors of new operations covering the Middle East have begun to prepare for ...
Read More »Smirking Israel Says Qatar Welcome To Use Her Airspace
“We’re just here to help,” added the ministry spokesman, unable to suppress a smirk. Jerusalem, June 5 – As Arab state after Arab state closes its skies to Qatar’s national carrier amid ratcheting political and diplomatic confrontation, the Jewish State ...
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